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Band 2.5

Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue,but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #culture #tourism #revenue
Many individuals have the point of view that national
culture
 will be destroyed if it is used to make
money
 from
tourism
activities
.
However
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others consider that
tourism
 is a good solution to defend
culture
.
This
writers
Fix the agreement mistake
writer
show examples
 agrees with the second idea and will show the opinions in
this
 essay. On one hand, the
culture
 might be ruined if it is milked to earn revenue from
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
. The indigenous peoples can be addicted to
money
 and will be corrupted. They will do everything if
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
someone
pay
Correct subject-verb agreement
pays
show examples
 for them
money
. It leads to the devastation of
peolple
Correct your spelling
people
 into the
culture
.
Moreover
, the travelers will destroy the environment and the
culture
 will be spoiled. That
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 the
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
 why many people get cross when
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourism
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
.
On the other hand
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourism
activities
 bring back huge benefits to the economy. The
money
earning
Wrong verb form
earned
show examples
 from these
activities
 can be used to improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social facilities. Not only that it
also
 let more people know about these characteristics and more individual will learn or visit it. That why
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourism
improve
Verb problem
apply
show examples
leads to the improvement of
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Thus
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourism
activities
 bring a
alot
Correct your spelling
lot
a lot
 of advantages but we have to use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 correctly to avoid the destroyment of national cultures.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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