IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue,but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Many individuals have the point of view that national
culture
Use synonyms
 will be destroyed if it is used to make
money
Use synonyms
 from
tourism
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others consider that
tourism
Use synonyms
 is a good solution to defend
culture
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
writers
Fix the agreement mistake
writer
show examples
 agrees with the second idea and will show the opinions in
this
Linking Words
 essay. On one hand, the
culture
Use synonyms
 might be ruined if it is milked to earn revenue from
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
. The indigenous peoples can be addicted to
money
Use synonyms
 and will be corrupted. They will do everything if
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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someone
pay
Correct subject-verb agreement
pays
show examples
 for them
money
Use synonyms
. It leads to the devastation of
peolple
Correct your spelling
people
 into the
culture
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the travelers will destroy the environment and the
culture
Use synonyms
 will be spoiled. That
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 the
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
 why many people get cross when
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourism
Use synonyms
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourism
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
 bring back huge benefits to the economy. The
money
Use synonyms
earning
Wrong verb form
earned
show examples
 from these
activities
Use synonyms
 can be used to improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social facilities. Not only that it
also
Linking Words
 let more people know about these characteristics and more individual will learn or visit it. That why
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourism
Use synonyms
improve
Verb problem
apply
show examples
leads to the improvement of
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourism
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
 bring a
alot
Correct your spelling
lot
a lot
 of advantages but we have to use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 correctly to avoid the destroyment of national cultures.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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