Some people belive that culture will be ruined if it used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Protecting
culture
are one of the celebrated
topic
Change to a plural noun
topics
show examples
these day
Change the determiner
this day
these days
show examples
and the
mojority
Correct your spelling
majority
of people think that
culture
is the thing used to become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourism
revenue will be ruined. Meanwhile, the rest of
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
think that to preserve
culture
Add an article
a culture
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the only way to guard it is
tourism
Change preposition
through tourism
show examples
.
Culture
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
tourism
to protect it by reason writer will mention in
this
essay. It is
Correct your spelling
argued
agreed
agured
Correct your spelling
argued
that
tourism
revenue is the thing
make
Correct pronoun usage
that make
show examples
it
ruined
Verb problem
apply
show examples
that
tourist
from other country will make that
culture
deteriorate from
tourist
culture
which
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
mean
Replace the word
means
show examples
"mixed
culture
" because
tourist
also
will bring their
traditional
Replace the word
traditions
show examples
our
Change preposition
to our
show examples
country will infection
also
Add a comma
,also
show examples
our
culture
can't be
our
Correct pronoun usage
ours
show examples
now
also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
we just can't find our
culture
Change noun form
culture's
show examples
origin from over
one-hundred
Correct your spelling
one hundred
show examples
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
even a decade. And the
facts
Fix the agreement mistake
fact
show examples
that our tradition and
culture
will be
abrasiveness
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abrade
show examples
and no
loger
Correct your spelling
longer
live anymore.
On the other hand
,
tourism
such
as a "
savior
Change the spelling
saviour
show examples
" of
culture
which is the thing
Correct pronoun usage
that help
show examples
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
our
cultural
Replace the word
culture
show examples
more
spreding
Correct your spelling
spreading
all over the world; our customs, traditions, habits,
knowledge
Correct word choice
and knowledge
show examples
will be known by everyone who used to
be visit
Change the verb form
visit
show examples
our
tourist
attraction.
Secondly
,
culture
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
important role in
preseve
Correct your spelling
preserve
cultural
Replace the word
culture
show examples
; it
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
just
a
Change the article
an
show examples
income for
Correct your spelling
government
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
to improve
culture
,
also
it would become
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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