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Band 5.5

The best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by providing at least six years of free education for each child, so that all children can read, write and use numbers.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#poverty #countries #six #years #education #child #children #numbers
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is the
amount
 of
poverty
 in emergent nations, which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increases every year. Now people are beginning to realize that the main problem for the countries is the number of poor citizens. Personally, I tend to think that
education
 is the most predominant thing for everyone, and because of
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
 I will write about my point of view for
this
 statement.
Firstly
, it is well known that
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 of
education
 plays a crucial role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the bright future of every
country
. What I mean here is that without
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
any basic
knowledge
Add a comma
,knowledge
show examples
 there will always be
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
poverty
 in every
nations
Change to a singular noun
nation
show examples
. One of the main reasons behind
that is
 the
amount
 of poor families who can not afford an
education
 for their children. A good case in point is one of the most popular, and
also
 a
country
 with an enormous
amount
 of
poverty
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 India. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 almost 80% of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 in India does not
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 any type of knowledge.
However
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a lot of oil under the ground
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 India, which can assist them
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
be
Verb problem
becoming
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 the most developed and richest
country
 in the world.
On the other hand
, it can
also
 be argued that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 can afford
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 years of free
education
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor families.
That is
 to say children with a great desire for knowledge can reach their goals, and reduce the
amount
 of
poverty
 in
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
. Take
for example
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Kazakhstan where 11 years of
education
 is totally free, because of what the
poverty
 in
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 is very low. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account in our final analysis we can say that
idea
Correct article usage
the idea
show examples
 of the statement about giving a free
education
 is
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 beneficial way to decrease the number of
poverty
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 every
country
.
Submitted by dimash171206 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • literacy
  • numeracy
  • economic growth
  • skilled workforce
  • investment
  • employment opportunities
  • break the cycle of poverty
  • informed decisions
  • healthcare
  • infrastructure
  • access to technology
  • stable governance
  • challenges
  • cultural barriers
  • free education
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