Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are most successful. others believe that individuals who contribute to society like scientist and teacher are more successful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #individuals #money #society #scientist #teacher

There are differing opinions as to which vocation is more successful. One group opines it is careers where individuals make huge income,

whereas

others say more successful

people

are scientists and teachers.

This

essay seeks to look at both opinions and I will give my opinion in the course of my writing.

To begin

with, the primary reason most parents enrol their children through formal education is to attain a well-earning job for an independent comfortable life. I can understand

this

because, good living is defined by one being able to acquire shelter

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and afford food and good clothing. Money is required to attain these 3 things. It is

therefore

not surprising that society views

such

things as great achievements. Meanwhile, every worker earns a fee but at varying amounts based on the work they do, the skills they bring to the table and their qualifications. Most higher-earning individuals in our society are more skilled and have higher qualifications which only a few

people

can attain. No wonder,

people

interpret reaching

such

height as

success

. In spite of all these, the benefits of

such

success

are to an individual and his or her family.

Hence

, I do not reckon

this

as one being successful.

On the other hand

, scientists and teachers impact several lives in the universe with their knowledge and skills. Our world is a better place because of research carried out by scientists.

For instance

, many lives have been saved since the invention of antibiotics by Sir Alexander Fleming.

Also

, the foundation of every profession is built on teaching. Teachers are especially skilled at imparting knowledge to everyone. They guide

people

through childhood to adulthood to make career choices. Their products are the experts we have in our societies ranging from medical doctors

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

to lawyers and contractors. In spite of

this

people

in the scientific world and teaching fields, beyond good names do not earn much money.

However

, their impact is so great that it affects masses of

people

all over the world. In my opinion, I think

this

is a true definition of

success

To sum up

, earning a huge salary in a career is good for personal and family development. Whilst the works of a teacher and scientist affect the whole globe.

Therefore

, in my opinion, the later vocations are what

success

is.

Submitted by nmaureen03 on Tue Sep 26 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

387 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are most successful. others believe that individuals who contribute to society like scientist and teacher are more successful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that manufacturers and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Tourism has increased so much over the last 50 years that it is having a mainly negative impact on local inhabitants and the environment. However, others claim that it is good for the economy. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of tourism and give your own opinion.

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last 10 years. Discuss the cause and effects of this disturbing trend