Some people say that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, say that life for the elderly nowadays is much better than it was in the past. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In modern society,
while
Linking Words
a number of individuals suppose that ageing is somewhat terrible, others disapprove of
this
Linking Words
as they believe the average living standard for older
people
Use synonyms
has become increasingly desirable compared to the former days.
This
Linking Words
essay shall conduct a thorough assessment of both viewpoints so that a reasoned conclusion can be drawn. On the one hand, the elderly nowadays are more prone to certain illnesses
due to
Linking Words
environmental pollution. The technology era has brought about a plethora of problems regarding our natural environment. A prime example of
this
Linking Words
is air contamination, a result of excessive carbon dioxide emission. Seniors, whose immune systems have significantly reduced
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
efficiency with the passage of time,
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
more vulnerable to respiratory diseases
such
Linking Words
as asthma or lung cancer. As a matter of fact, when
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
older
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
suffer from those illnesses, they
would
Verb problem
are
show examples
not
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
able to take care of themselves,
as well as
Linking Words
need full-time provision
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
others. In the meantime, the majority of individuals detest the concept of a life with
such
Linking Words
lethal diseases, since they believe that translates to being a burden to their family members.
Therefore
Linking Words
, an increasing number of
people
Use synonyms
in today’s world consider getting old unfavourable.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the advancement in technology has ameliorated the living conditions for seniors. Nowadays, there are a plethora of robotic inventions that are intended to make life easier for sick older
people
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, Japanese scientists established the “Care Robot” that can keep track of the health index of the elderly, and even be a recreational device that can read books or play music. Another point to be mentioned is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the ascent in the number of nursing homes. Many old
people
Use synonyms
seem to be let down by the fact that their offspring can not allocate enough them to them, and nursing homes may be a suitable solution for
this
Linking Words
. There, they can meet and befriend
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
of their age, who have a tendency to share similar favourite pastimes. Seniors,
therefore
Linking Words
, can still derive great pleasure from the latter half of their lives. All in all,
albeit
Change preposition
although
show examples
getting old may lead to seemingly detrimental health problems, the elderly in modern society are now accessible to a variety of means of entertainment. From my way of thinking, I firmly believe that ageing in today’s world should not be deemed negative.
Submitted by lamhanguyen021207 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • elderly
  • modern world
  • decline
  • physical
  • mental health
  • diseases
  • disabilities
  • social isolation
  • loneliness
  • access
  • healthcare
  • medications
  • lifelong learning
  • personal growth
  • social support
  • community engagement
  • positive aspects
  • negative aspects
What to do next:
Look at other essays: