The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The pie charts give information about what 6 categories of devices Canadian people used to watch in 2009 and 2019.

Overall

Linking Words

, the top used device regarding to 2009 was the conventional

Use synonyms

while

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in 2019 flat-screen

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overtook its

place

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. Turning to the details, In 2009 tablets were not as popular as laptops, with 5 per

cent

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of spectators watching them respectively. Next came the mobile phone, which was not much more spread with only 8 per

cent

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of watchers. The desktop computer and the laptop gained second and third

place

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in popularity with 20 and 18 per

cent

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while

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the conventional

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peaked with 34 per

cent

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of the viewers. It is obvious that regarding to 2019, the top-used devices changed dramatically. Mobile phones were almost as popular as the flat-screen

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, with 26 and 27 per

cent

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of people watching it. Tablets were in second

place

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whereas

Linking Words

desktop computers and laptops joined third

place

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. The bottom of the list was conventional

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, which is more than 3 times less popular

Change preposition

than

show examples

other types of devices.

Submitted by aida.ai2000 on Tue Sep 26 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words tv, place, cent with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

177 words

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The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think it is no longer necessary for children to go to school because they can do all their learning online. Others believe learning in schools is essential. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people choose to commute to work by public transportation. However, others prefer to use their own private cars. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A country's future depends on it's young people. Therefore, a country should invest heavily in its youth. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?