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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graphs below show the number of marriages and divorces in the USA between 1970 and 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The graphs below show the number of marriages and divorces in the USA between 1970 and 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
#graphs #show #marriages #divorces #usa #information #features #comparisons
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The
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
bar charts
gives
Wrong verb form
given
show examples
 the information about the number of married and divorced
people
Use synonyms
 and
marital
Correct article usage
the marital
show examples
 status of adult
americans
Change the capitalization
Americans
show examples
 from 1970 to 2000. It is crystal clear that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the total number of married couples was
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 in 1970 and 1980 which was around 2.5
milions
Correct your spelling
millions
million
.
Whereas
Linking Words
, marriage
heppened
Correct your spelling
happened
 slightly less in
upcoming
Change the article
the upcoming
show examples
year
Use synonyms
 1990 which was approximately 2.4
milions
Correct your spelling
million
millions
. We can clearly see that in the
year
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2000, 2
milions
Correct your spelling
millions
million
 of
people
Use synonyms
 got married which was almost half
Correct article usage
a milion
show examples
milion
Correct your spelling
million
 less than in 1970.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, around 1
milion
Correct your spelling
million
 of
married
Add an article
the married
show examples
couple
Fix the agreement mistake
couples
show examples
 got divorced
in
Change preposition
between
show examples
 1970 and the
year
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2000.
Linking Words
While in
Correct word choice
In
show examples
 the
year
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1980 majority of
divorce
Fix the agreement mistake
divorces
show examples
 happened. The total
numer
Correct your spelling
number
 of married adults in America was 60 %in 2000.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, married couples were almost 10
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 higher in 1970. There were 20 % of
people
Use synonyms
 who never got married in 2000 and around 15 % in 1970.
People
Use synonyms
 who got divorced in 1970
as well as
Linking Words
 in 2000 were at the
lest
Correct your spelling
least
show examples
.Widowed
people
Use synonyms
 were less than 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
years.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the
propostion
Correct your spelling
proportion
proposition
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who got married were higher
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 30 years
Linking Words
as well
Correct word choice
old
show examples
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 the
percentge
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of married adult were at
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 peak in both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
years.
Submitted by bhumikashah1414 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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