IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue , but other consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture . Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #culture #tourism #revenue
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Wheter
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Whether
culture
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-based
tourism
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recieve
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receives
income
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 or
damage
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damages
show examples
 its character .
However
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, from prior experience , it is more beneficial to make
tourism
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 of
culture
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 and preserve it . Despite those who believe that
culture
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 will be destroyed as being used for
tourism
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 revenue. It must be understood that the system of
tourism
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 is more developed .
This
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 is
due to
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 an important feature of
culture
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 which is popularize the attraction of the nation . With
this
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 in mind , visiting impressive
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culture
Replace the word
cultural
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venue
Fix the agreement mistake
venues
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 takes more fancy of most
tourist
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tourists
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.
As a result
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 , some of the
part
Change to a plural noun
parts
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 in their
income
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 will be used to develop and protect the character
culture
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 .
Thus
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 , there are some advantages of publicizing
culture
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 as part
as
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of
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tourism
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 sites.
However
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 , some people think that
tourism
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 is more destructive when
utilize
Wrong verb form
utilising
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culture
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 for only earning its revenue as some disadvantages . There is a belief that
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the culture
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culture
Replace the word
cultural
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 approach is now out of control because of the irresponsibility of protecting it .
Therefore
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 , it is easy to notice why there is a range of bad images and corruptions of
culture
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 and it should not be used to receive
tourism
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income
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 .
This
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 writer believes that government must take
respondsibility
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responsibility
 for
culture
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tourism
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 .
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that
culture
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tourism
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 has two sides
of
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to
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 their nation's character which means that its
income
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contribute
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contributes
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 to
preserve
Change the verb form
preserving
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culture
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 and
culture
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is
Verb problem
has
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also
Linking Words
 become ruined. Because of
this
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 , if there is a better solution
of
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for
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 the government , it would both develop
tourism
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 and protect
culture
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 .
Thus
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 ,
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
culture- based
Correct your spelling
culture-based
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tourism
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 should be
controled
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controlled
correctedly
Correct your spelling
correctly
corrected
 by not only the government but
also
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 our awareness .
Hence
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 , it should have been shown that
populazing
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popularizing
populating
culture
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 must be taken in
tourism
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 to develop its
Correct your spelling
potential
potiential
Correct your spelling
potential
 benefits
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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