IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

the charts bellow show changes in the household of electrical appliances and the time spent doing houseweok between 1920 and 2019

the charts bellow show changes in the household of electrical appliances and the time spent doing houseweok between 1920 and 2019
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This
Linking Words
 line graph was a comparison of three different essential electrical items
Use synonyms
usage
Replace the word
used
show examples
 in household work from 1920 to 2019. In
this
Linking Words
chart
Add a comma
,chart
show examples
usage
Use synonyms
showed
Wrong verb form
is shown
show examples
 as
Correct article usage
a pecentage
show examples
pecentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
.
Overall
Linking Words
, all three applications represented
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 upward trend over the period and
usage
Use synonyms
 time has increased more than twice in some items. In 1920, washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
 used 40% and after 40 years sharply it increased
up till
Change preposition
to
show examples
70%. After 1960, it showed a slight
decrese
Correct your spelling
decrease
,
then
Linking Words
 again after 1980,
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of washing machine utilization
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 rapid growth.
Vaccume
Correct your spelling
Vacuum
 cleaners
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
started from 30% in 1920 and from 1920 onward
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
illustrated
dramatical
Replace the word
dramatic
show examples
 growth up to 100%. After 2000,
vaccume
Correct your spelling
vacuum
 cleaners showed a steady
usage
Use synonyms
 in the graph. Refrigerators
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the lowest
usage
Use synonyms
 in 1920, which was around 5% and from 1920 to 1960 it outlined a sharp climb. In 1960, refrigerators were the highest
usage
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 chart and in 1980, it reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
100% and
continue
Wrong verb form
continued
show examples
 that percentage till
end
Add an article
the end
show examples
 of the period. End of
this
Linking Words
 period refrigerators and
Vaccume
Correct your spelling
vacuum
 cleaners maintained
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
usage
Use synonyms
100
Change preposition
at 100
show examples
%
while
Linking Words
 washing
macine
Correct your spelling
machine
machines
 accounted
at
Change preposition
for
show examples
 75%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words usage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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