IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed

the table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed
#information #police #budget #area #britain #money #show
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The table and two pie charts illustrate information about the 2017-2018
police
Use synonyms
budget
Use synonyms
 in one region in the UK. The table shows the sources of
money
Use synonyms
 from three categories in
Use synonyms
million
Fix the agreement mistake
millions
show examples
Use synonyms
pounds
Change preposition
of pounds
show examples
 and the pie charts provide the proportion of
money
Use synonyms
 spent on each category.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the 2018
budget
Use synonyms
 was slightly more than in 2017. The
money
Use synonyms
 spent on officers' and staff’s salaries the most
while
Linking Words
 spending the least on technology. First of all, the 2017
police
Use synonyms
budget
Use synonyms
 showed slightly less contribution from all sources compared to 2018. The national government funded 175.5
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
 in 2017 and 177.8
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
 to the
police
Use synonyms
 in 2018
while
Linking Words
 the
budget
Use synonyms
 from local taxes collected for both years are 91.2 and 102.3
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
, respectively.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
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 only 38
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
 was handed in from other sources in 2017 and 38.5
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
 in 2018. In terms of
money
Use synonyms
 spent by the
police
Use synonyms
,75% of their 2017
budget
Use synonyms
 was spent on officers’ and staff’s income
while
Linking Words
 slightly less than that figure at 69% was spent on the same category in 2018. In both years 17% of the total
money
Use synonyms
 was spent on buildings and transportation,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
 technology was the least spent in both years, but in 2018, they spent almost the figure on building and transportation at 14% of their
budget
Use synonyms
 compared to only 8% spent in 2017.
Submitted by patinyajaithan on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words police, budget, money, million, pounds with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • budget allocation
  • funding sources
  • government policies
  • economic conditions
  • community services
  • crime prevention
  • public safety
  • significant increase/decrease
  • distribution
  • assessment
  • reflection
  • allocation shifts
  • budget comparison
  • impact analysis
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