some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

It is very unwise to underestimate the important role
culture
plays in each country all over the world and for that reason, many questions are raised about how to properly protect cultural
values
.
While
many
people
think
culture
should not be used to take advantage of
tourism
revenue. It is considered by some
people
that
tourism
is the best option for many individuals to approach and preserve cultural
values
. From my perspective, I think that
tourism
plays an essential role in the
culture
and I will demonstrate my point of view during
this
essay. On the one hand,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
numerous
people
Add a missing verb
are concern
show examples
concern
Replace the word
concerned
show examples
that cultural
values
will be eroded if they are used for making money because it
express
Change the verb form
expresses
show examples
that they
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
not respect
culture
. The reason
this
Change preposition
for this
show examples
is that exhibits seem to be ruined more easily by human impacts.
For instance
, statues displayed in a museum may be touched and physically affected by a number of visitor flocks
lead
Wrong verb form
leading
show examples
to statues can be demolished gradually.
Moreover
, there are many travel companies
these day
Change the determiner
this day
these days
show examples
which pay more attention to
build
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
luxurious and new
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
, typically as the increasing number of modern resorts and comfortable hotel systems in order to attract more tourists to make a profit for themselves without
regarding
Change the form of the verb
regard
show examples
to cultural
values
.
Consequently
, tourists tend to turn their back
with
Change preposition
on
show examples
traditional
values
and it could make the
culture
less popular.
On the other hand
, the travel field is a great factor
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
the government should consider
to invest
Change the verb form
investing
show examples
because they can take advantage of it to prevent their cultural
values
from deterioration. First of all, enterprises in the travel industry have enough resources and abilities to maintain the original condition of
heritages
Fix the agreement mistake
heritage
show examples
. T í obvious that national heritages need to be conserved properly by professionals.
Secondly
,
tourism
plays a vital role in advertising
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cultural
values
to not only local
people
but
also
overseas ones.
Therefore
, the
culture
would become more prevalent to many
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
. In conclusion,
although
many
people
think that
tourism
should have an obligation about the deterioration of
culture
, I always hold an opposite view that cultural
values
could be sustained in their initial condition and value of the
tourism
sector.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: