IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue , but other consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture.Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

#people #culture #tourism #revenue
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Culture is a beautiful tradition of a
people
Use synonyms
 or a country. A
gruop
Correct your spelling
group
 of
people
Use synonyms
 think that tradition will be affected if they are used to make money from tourist activities,
wjeareas
Correct your spelling
whereas
pthers
Correct your spelling
others
 believe that it is the best way to save traditional
values
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both sides of the argument in detail and provide opinion On the one hand, it can be seen that most of the countries around the world are keeping their civilization limited to the exhibition centres and museums, be it can not attract tourists because they
do
Verb problem
are
show examples
 not interested in it.The common mentality of everyone is that they went to go places where they can have
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
entertainment when travelling .
For example
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
 Pakistan is famous for its traditional clothes but at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
present,
due to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modernization,many
people
Use synonyms
 over are
for getting
Correct your spelling
forgetting
show examples
 about their actual origin and tourist do not know about these either.
Alhough
Correct your spelling
Although
 it is better than
earn
Change the form of the verb
earning
show examples
 money.They are neglecting
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 traditional importance .
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a
gruop
Correct your spelling
group
 of
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 think that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. It can be true if
people
Use synonyms
 know how to attract
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 to
Correct your spelling
know
show examples
now
Correct your spelling
know
show examples
 more about
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
their
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 customs, the culture of different nations can be protected in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 moral
values
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, VietNam is a country
has
Correct pronoun usage
that has
show examples
 many
ethnis gruop
Correct your spelling
ethnic groups
 and they always know how to attract
traverler
Correct your spelling
traveller
travellers
 with
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 customs.
Thus
Linking Words
,it reflects their cultural
values
Use synonyms
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 an ethical way In conclusion, touristry has both positive
as well as
Linking Words
 negative aspects of its own, but in my view, touristry could be considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a good medium
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 generating revenue and conserving one's cultural
values
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: