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Band 7

The table shows the number of visitors to Edinburgh Zoo during the year before and and after 2 pandas were introduced . The charts show the result of surveyss asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visits, during the two periods.

The table shows the number of visitors to Edinburgh Zoo during the year before and and after 2 pandas were introduced . The charts show the result of surveyss asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visits, during the two periods.
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The table gives information about the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who visited the zoo before and after the introduction of
pandas
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 their responses between two years. Let's have a look:
Overall
Linking Words
, there have been considerable changes, the most noticeable is the increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 visitors after
Use synonyms
pandas'
Correct article usage
the pandas'
show examples
 arrival.
According to
Linking Words
 statistics, during the
year
Use synonyms
 before
Use synonyms
pandas
Add a comma
,pandas
show examples
 there were 74000 customers.
However
Linking Words
, a
year
Use synonyms
after
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 number showed an upward trend and enlarged by 8000 visitors, which indicates that
pandas
Use synonyms
' appearance is the reason for the place's popularity and
people
Use synonyms
's satisfaction. In the
year
Use synonyms
 before
pandas
Use synonyms
, almost 35 per cent of
people
Use synonyms
 tended to be more dissatisfied and the number of "good" responses was half of all the reviews,
while
Linking Words
 during the next
Use synonyms
year
Add a comma
,year
show examples
this
Linking Words
 number increased by 75 per cent. It is obvious that the amount of very dissatisfied
people
Use synonyms
 decreased by 5 per cent, so it distinctly improved the situation.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, pandas, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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