Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people think that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#music #society #culture #world #people #individuals #societies #influence

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There is no denying the fact that these days you can find

music

everywhere

play

Wrong verb form

played

show examples

in our society and other cultures in the world.

While

it is a commonly held belief that

Correct article usage

a psitive

show examples

psitive

Correct your spelling

positive

thing for the people and the communities as well, there is

also

an argument that

music

can bring only drawback impact on both.

This

essay will analyse

this

topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On

one

Correct article usage

the one

show examples

hand, one of the biggest

upside

Change to a plural noun

upsides

show examples

music

is that you can

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

enjoy

Correct pronoun usage

it in

show examples

your free

time

In other words

while

you drive to work or maybe

visiting

Wrong verb form

visit

show examples

someone you can listen to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

music

to forget the distance.

In addition

, we must

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

agree that

music

is art and will increase our morality.

For instance

according to

a research that I wrote on a website “

music

can make us see the world more beautiful and see it differently ”.

On the other hand

sometime

Replace the word

sometimes

show examples

music

waste

Correct article usage

a waste

show examples

time

. It is

also

possible to say that, we ought to

investe

Correct your spelling

invest

our free

time

to learn a new skill

such

as drawing or reading a book.

However

, the majority of

music

nowadays is all about sadness and that of course can

affects

Change the verb form

affect

show examples

you

Change preposition

show examples

someway.

For example

, song of Adeel “We cannot breathe”, 70% of the words are talking about breakups and how

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

the world become blue. In conclusion, there is no easy answer to

this

question. On balance,

however

. I tend to believe

that is

better to

focuse

Correct your spelling

focus

on our

selfs

Correct your spelling

selves

show examples

and

get

Verb problem

take

show examples

care of

Correct pronoun usage

ourselves

show examples

we should take

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

advantages

Fix the agreement mistake

advantage

show examples

of our free

time

to do something that help us in the future

instead

of listening to

music

Submitted by firasalfadda2 on Wed Sep 27 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Harmony
Melody
Rhythm
Socio-cultural
Artistic expression
Cognitive development
Soundtrack
Moral implications
Acoustic ecology
Intellectual property
Authenticity
Commercialization
Media literacy
Sensory overload
Acculturation

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Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people think that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some local languages are becoming extinct. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinino? What sort of punishments should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children.

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some believe children should be taught to give speeches and presentations in school. Why is this? What other skills do you think it is important to be taught in schools?

Some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work and schools should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying academic subjects. To what extent do you agree?