The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology. To what extent do you agree?

Some people believe that school curriculums should focus more on beneficial subjects ,
such
as information technology, than
art
and
music
, in order to prepare kids for the modern world. I disagree with it, and here are my reasons. One major reason is that learning
art
and
music
gives
children
a space to be themselves. They learn how to relax through doing these activities, and
also
develop creative skills.
For example
, some researchers stated that
children
playing
music
tend to have higher skills in mathematic problem-solving than
children
who don't play it.
Furthermore
, young people should have a chance to try many things in schools as much as possible ,so they will know themselves and their preferences. A student who performs well in
art
and
music
and eventually becomes an artist or musician one day.
In addition
, School curriculums with only academic interests might put tremendous pressure on
children
.
As a result
, it can lead to mental health issues in kids. In conclusion, I would argue that non-academic subjects
such
as
art
and
music
 not only give kids relaxation and creativity but
also
give them a profession
such
as
art
teachers or musicians in the future.
Consequently
, schools should put these subjects into the curriculum.
Submitted by kannu_boat on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: