IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. summarise the inmformation by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

the graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. summarise the inmformation by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#shops #country #summarise #inmformation #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The provided line graph represents the information about how many shops were open and
close
Replace the word
closed
show examples
 in a country from the year 2011 to 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
shop
Use synonyms
 openings followed a downward trend,
whereas
Linking Words
 the number of
shop
Use synonyms
 closures
flactuated
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
fluctuate
 over the years
except
Add the preposition
forexcept
show examples
 a
drastical
Correct your spelling
drastic
fall
Use synonyms
 in 2015.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, The amount of
shop
Use synonyms
 opened for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
customers were approximately 8,500 in 2011, which dropped about half the amount in 2012 to around 4,000.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there was a
risein
Correct your spelling
rise in
shop
Use synonyms
 opening numbers in 2013 and 2014 more or less 6,000 before a
fall
Use synonyms
 in 2015 which is around 4,000.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in 2016 and 2017 the
shop
Use synonyms
 openings
were remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 steady and followed a slight
fall
Use synonyms
 in 2018
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
 3,000.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the number of
shop
Use synonyms
 closed were around 6,400 in 2011 and followed a slight
flactuation
Correct your spelling
fluctuation
fluctuations
 in 2012 and 2013.
However
Linking Words
, there was a
drastical
Correct your spelling
drastic
fall
Use synonyms
 in the amount of
shop
Use synonyms
 closures which was down to 500 in 2015 and
then
Linking Words
 rose to 5,100 in 2016 and remain steady in 2017 and 2018 collectively.
Submitted by sayelacu2011 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words shop, fall with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: