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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

the graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. summarise the inmformation by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

the graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. summarise the inmformation by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#shops #country #summarise #inmformation #features #comparisons
The provided line graph represents the information about how many shops were open and
close
Replace the word
closed
show examples
 in a country from the year 2011 to 2018.
Overall
, it can be seen that
shop
 openings followed a downward trend,
whereas
 the number of
shop
 closures
flactuated
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
fluctuate
 over the years
except
Add the preposition
forexcept
show examples
 a
drastical
Correct your spelling
drastic
fall
 in 2015.
To begin
 with, The amount of
shop
 opened for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
customers were approximately 8,500 in 2011, which dropped about half the amount in 2012 to around 4,000.
Moreover
, there was a
risein
Correct your spelling
rise in
shop
 opening numbers in 2013 and 2014 more or less 6,000 before a
fall
 in 2015 which is around 4,000.
Furthermore
, in 2016 and 2017 the
shop
 openings
were remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 steady and followed a slight
fall
 in 2018
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
 3,000.
In contrast
, the number of
shop
 closed were around 6,400 in 2011 and followed a slight
flactuation
Correct your spelling
fluctuation
fluctuations
 in 2012 and 2013.
However
, there was a
drastical
Correct your spelling
drastic
fall
 in the amount of
shop
 closures which was down to 500 in 2015 and
then
 rose to 5,100 in 2016 and remain steady in 2017 and 2018 collectively.
Submitted by sayelacu2011 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words shop, fall with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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