some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It is argued that humans have a lot of options. It is agreed that we still have many things that can be selected not only pegged in one thing but

also

Linking Words

choose another alternative and the writing will discuss about many choices presented especially in education and sports in many countries.

Firstly

Linking Words

about education, people actually can attend a higher school or university, even though there are some who cannot afford the cost, because some colleges require us to pay a lot of money which is too expensive for those. Despite

this

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, there are multiple choices for those who have dreamt of entering the college that they wanted.

For example

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, they can take a scholarship, which can be obtained by seeing your score and achievements either academic or non-academic in your high school. The benefit of having a scholarship is it will help you to get a lower price.

Secondly

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, there are many students that are enthusiastically joining sports which are very popular and have many variations of them. A lot of match have been held and the activities being competed in is increasingly diverse.

Furthermore

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, the cost of joining the events or courses could be affordable.

For instance

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, in basketball in Indonesia, the expense of applying for competitions is inexpensive.

Thus

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, as I mentioned above, it could help those who are trying to get a scholarship through those competitions. In conclusion, society says that choices are still limited, it is obvious that in many departments,

such

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as education and physical games, there have been significant opportunities presented for everyone to take.

Submitted by twiggseducationbdg on Thu Sep 28 2023

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Task Response

Task Response: The essay does not fully address the prompt. It discusses the availability of choices in education and sports but does not thoroughly explore the extent to which there are too many choices nowadays.

Coherence and Cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay shows some basic logical structure and presents an introduction and conclusion; however, the development of ideas lacks coherence and the connection between paragraphs is weak.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

overwhelmed
decision fatigue
paralysis by analysis
consumerism
globalization
personal autonomy
market saturation
option overload
decision-making process
psychological well-being
buyer's remorse
customization
trade-offs
minimalism
information superhighway

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some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Your opinion

Some say that people should continue to work in the same job for a lifetime, while others say they should change the job at least once in their career. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Plant and animal diversity is declining around the world. Why is this happening? Why is this a problem?

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after shcool. Discuss both views

Governments give lots of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been spent better elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.