IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

Universities should take the same number of men and women in each major. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#universities #men #women
I disagree with the idea that universities are needed to adjust the ratio of
student's
Change noun form
students
show examples
 gender because aiming to balance the same ratio can cause new discrimination. There are several reasons for
them
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
.
For the
Change preposition
The
show examples
first,
math and science tend to be the subjects that boys are better at than girls, and
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
opposite many girls get
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better
score
Fix the agreement mistake
scores
show examples
 than boys. If universities try to take the same number of males and females completely, there will be some poor
score
Fix the agreement mistake
scores
show examples
students
Change preposition
for students
show examples
 in each major because of a gender gap.
This
 is not appropriate for them to study because their grade gap is so big,
then
 it can lead that some students feel the lecture is too easy and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others have to suffer from too
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
show examples
 lectures for them to catch up.
Therefore
, I disagree with the statement that
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 should take a
balance
Replace the word
balanced
show examples
student's gender
Change noun form
student-gender
show examples
 ratio.
Submitted by naziraamna on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: