IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #money #poverty #aid
I strongly agree that only through
finacial
Correct your spelling
financial
 aid cannot develop the poor
country
. The developed
country
 should provide support like creating more
factory
Fix the agreement mistake
factories
show examples
 and
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
such
 things would help the poor
country
 . The
develop
Change the verb form
developed
show examples
country
 cannot help the poor
country
 by just providing the
finacial
Correct your spelling
financial
 aid because
this
 would even
led
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 them to fall for the
countrys
Correct your spelling
country's
country
finance
Fix the agreement mistake
finances
show examples
.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 the developed
country
provied
Correct your spelling
provides
 them with
huge
Add an article
a huge
the huge
show examples
 amount of money and in incase
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 have invested in some
facotry
Correct your spelling
factory
 or
some thing
Correct your spelling
something
show examples
 by thinking that it would increase , but
due to
 some factor
in
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 may
colapse
Correct your spelling
collapse
 and might fall at that case the
country
 would not be
abled
Replace the word
able
show examples
 to repay the loan and
ther
Correct your spelling
there
 would be a huge crash in the
country
finace
Correct your spelling
finance
 state. The developed
country
 can provide some other
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
show examples
 of support to the poor
country
 like creating
factory
Fix the agreement mistake
factories
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
country
, which would provide more job opportunities for the
country
 and the products would import
many
Change preposition
to many
show examples
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
.
This
 method
wold
Correct your spelling
would
show examples
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
profit the factory owners and provide job opportunities for the people who are living in the poor
country
.The
devlop
Correct your spelling
develop
developed
country
 can
also
 invest in the natural
resourses
Correct your spelling
resources
 in the poor
country
 like natural gas or any kind of
natuaral
Correct your spelling
natural
 metal which can be found in that
country
 and
import
Wrong verb form
imported
show examples
 to
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
country
 which has its demand. I conclude by
telling
Verb problem
saying
show examples
 that the
develop
Wrong verb form
developed
show examples
country
 cannot help the poor
country
 just by providing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial aid , the
develop
Wrong verb form
developed
show examples
country
 should invest
some thing
Correct your spelling
something
show examples
 in the poor
country
 which would help the
country
 to come out of poverty .
Submitted by insighttribez on

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task response
Ensure that each main point is clearly supported with examples and evidence.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas logically and coherently throughout the essay. Use clear topic sentences and transitions to connect your ideas.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary range by using more varied and precise words and phrases. Be careful with word choice and accuracy to enhance your overall lexical resource.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar. Ensure proper subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and sentence formation to improve your grammatical range.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
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