Nowadays children mostly spend time playing computer games rather than sports. Is it positive or negative development?

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Young adults these days are often considered to play
games
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instead
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of engaging in sports.
While
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this
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decision clearly has some drawbacks for their social lives and
health
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, I tend to believe it has many reasons to be changed for the better. Admittedly, there are a number of factors why playing video
games
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is seen as a negative activity. First and foremost, one of these is social isolation. As
children
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tend to spend most of their time with technology and
games
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, they can become obsessed with a digital world, leading to a loss of their sense of joviality and socialization.
This
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is why excessive gaming can limit face-to-face interactions and hinder the development of interpersonal
skills
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.
This
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, in turn, can lead to feelings of alienation and depression.
Additionally
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,
health
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concerns may be another factor in
this
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phenomenon. Prolonged screen time has a detrimental impact on physical activity, which causes
health
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issues, ranging from obesity to vision impairment. Because
children
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develop poor posture
as a result
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of being in front of the screen, it puts their
health
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at considerable risk.
As a consequence
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, youngsters may experience many
health
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issues during their lifetime.
On the other hand
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, despite these negative aspects of playing computer
games
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rather than sports, I am still convinced that a shift from sports activities to video
games
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is a positive development.
Initially
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, cognitive
skills
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enhancement may be the main factor in
this
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.
For instance
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, if
children
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spend their time on computer
games
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,
due to
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some
games
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including puzzles and strategies, they are more likely to be encouraged to use logical reasoning and creativity.
Also
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, they provide
children
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with an opportunity to improve cognitive development and problem-solving
skills
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in an easy way.
This
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,
as a result
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, contributes to a more logically developed generation who can make decisions on their own.
Furthermore
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, another reason is technological familiarity. When
children
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adapt to a digital world, gaming can build early exposure to technology, since some
games
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involve coding, fostering STEM
skills
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.
This
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, in effect, not only helps them develop critical thinking
skills
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,
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apply
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but
also
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helps them become familiar with technologies.
To conclude
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, regardless of these issues related to computer
games
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, I reckon that there are favourable chances for them, as they facilitate familiarity with technology
as well as
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enhancement in cognitive thinking.
Submitted by Writing9 on

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task achievement
To further strengthen your essay, you could provide more specific examples that clearly demonstrate the effects of gaming versus sports activity. Additionally, try to explore potential counterarguments and address them succinctly to add depth to your analysis.
coherence cohesion
Try to vary sentence structure and use more cohesive devices, such as linking words and phrases, to enhance flow and connection between ideas. This will improve the coherence and make the essay more engaging.
task achievement
Your essay presents a well-rounded Task Achievement with a clear understanding of both the negative and positive developments related to the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the key points discussed in the body. This contributes to overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your logical structure is apparent with each paragraph addressing different aspects of the topic, which aids in guiding the reader through your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • allure
  • captivate
  • supervise
  • accessible
  • scarcity
  • safer alternative
  • peer pressure
  • educational tools
  • cognitive skills
  • implications
  • obesity
  • poor posture
  • hand-eye coordination
  • problem-solving abilities
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