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In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies
One
 of the widely discussed
tendency
Fix the agreement mistake
tendencies
show examples
 nowadays is the decision of the
students
 who
decided
Wrong verb form
decide
show examples
 to take a gap
year
.
This
 essay will highlight the merits and demerits of
this
 trend.
To begin
 with,
one
 evident benefit of taking a gap
year
 is that it can help young people find their own vocation. In
one
year
 they will be able to have more fascinating experiences in outschool activities, accumulate knowledge, and acquire new skills, which would be useful for them in order to decide how to commence their future career. Another reason that an additional
year
 would be advantageous is that it could give enough time to
students
 so as to earn extra money. It is known that applying to foreign countries is a money-consuming process, and during the
year
 applicants can be employed in a company to not face financial problems.
On the other hand
, there are obvious disadvantages.
Firstly
, it would make people
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
be feeble-minded and lazy towards their studies, because of the fact that
one
 whole
year
 is a long break from studying and high school
students
 might become unmotivated to explore
and
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 may destroy the concentration of the
students
 to
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
 in
university
Add an article
the university
a university
show examples
. Another possible issue is forgotten knowledge, as I wrote in the above paragraphs,
one
year
 is enough time to forget information. In fact, without consistent repetition of certain
information
Add a comma
,information
show examples
 it would be easy to overlook many details of profound knowledge.
To conclude
,
although
 the decree of taking a
year
 between finishing school and beginning university life
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
 many advantages
such
 as interesting experience and enough time to earn money for
application
Add an article
the application
show examples
, it can
also
 lead to
future
Add an article
a future
the future
show examples
 assessment of student because of lack of stable education throughout the
year
 caused by taking a gap
year
.
Submitted by s_togzhan.17 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
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