IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #changes #percentage #people #australia #town #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given bar chart illustrates the information about the people born in and out of
Australia
.
Overall
, the bar shows the percentage of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 who spends their lives living in
cities
,
town
Fix the agreement mistake
towns
show examples
 and in rural
areas
 of
australia
Change the capitalization
Australia
show examples
. In the year 1995,
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 average of 50 people born in
australia
Change the capitalization
Australia
show examples
occupies
Wrong verb form
occupied
show examples
cities
,
whereas
,
Add an article
the town
show examples
town
Fix the agreement mistake
towns
show examples
has been
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 occupied by only
fifth
Correct article usage
a fifth
show examples
 of their
population
,
rural
Change preposition
with rural
show examples
areas
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 stays between them.
In contrast
, individuals born outside the nation
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
largel
Correct your spelling
largely
 moved to
cities
 at a
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 of 60, but,
town
Add an article
the town
show examples
population
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
slightly decreased,
around
Change preposition
with around
show examples
 40
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
australians
Change the capitalization
Australians
show examples
 likely to live in rural
areas
. In the year 2010,
cities
has been
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 mostly used by
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 born outside
Australia
,
on the other hand
, rural
areas
 have seen a downtrend in the contribution.In parallel,
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 number of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 have used rural
areas
 and
town
Fix the agreement mistake
towns
show examples
, and over 60% of people
loved
Wrong verb form
love
show examples
 to spend their lives in
cities
Submitted by insighttribez on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, population, cities, town, areas with synonyms.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Demographic
  • Trends
  • Urban areas
  • Rural areas
  • Town
  • Native-born
  • Foreign-born
  • Migration patterns
  • Economic factors
  • Government policies
  • Increase
  • Decrease
  • Steady
  • Peak
  • Trough
  • Time frame
  • Significant changes
  • Distribution
  • Notable
What to do next:
Look at other essays: