Many people today prefer to socialize online rather than spend time with friends in the local community. To what extent do advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#people #time #friends #community

These days, a large amount of people prefer virtual

communities

than

Change preposition

show examples

other realistic

communities

such

as spending time and hanging out with

friends

. I strongly advocate with those who agree that there are more advantages than disadvantages of online media.

This

essay will illustrate both the advantages and disadvantages of

this

argument. Needless to say, the benefits of virtual is enormous.

Initially

, It seems easier for people to find

friends

with the same interests on the internet than the real life.

For instance

, we can join any group that

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

Correct article usage

the

show examples

same mindset and make

friends

on that. Another point of

this

is people have the ability to tackle their mental problems, some adolescents agree that their online mates understand their feelings even more than their parents. A

further

point to discuss is about safety. Parents are afraid that their children to go outside

due to

the ability of robbers. An essential example of

this

argument is there are surveys that show some kids had been attacked by strangers when they were playing with their local

friends

On the other hand

, Online

communities

could limit children from having their childhood. The implication of

this

is youngsters growing up without contacting

friends

in real growth, and have no memory of their childhood activities.

However

, It relies on how much time those young kids spend on their virtual activities. If parents could control their children’s time schedule, and force them to balance real and online activity, It would make their adolescents grow up without any problems.

To conclude

, Today, social media, especially virtual

communities

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

important to our lives, it has positive and negative attributes.

However

, It can be easy to balance and improve your life quality.

Submitted by lengogiahan04112004 on Thu Sep 28 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people today prefer to socialize online rather than spend time with friends in the local community. To what extent do advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that success in life comes from ard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Dicuss both views and give your opinion

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