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Writing Samples
Band 6

It is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages?

#change #people
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These days
change
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 is very essential part of our lives.
Change
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 has more benefits to promote ourselves in every side of our lives. In
this
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 essay, I am going to discuss the advantages of
change
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. First of all, the significant positive of
change
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 is improved performance.
Moreover
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, through , the
change
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 we can get more chances to assess our levels notice the weak points and develop them to become more experienced in that field. Personally, I depend on
this
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 method at university and I enhanced a lot. I remember in my first year at university I always got low marks in mathematics because I often relied on one way to study which was studying before one day an exam
however
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 when I changed
this
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 way and studied every day what I took in class I didn’t face any challenges.
Second,
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another benefit of
change
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 is a renewal of
life
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. We need always
change
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 in our lives to become more active. Through
change
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, we cannot feel bored and we practice
life
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 with pleasure.
In addition
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, I notice that the person who has changed in his
life
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 becomes joyful.
For instance
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, my best friend Shahid has a routine that always alters to feel more active. She frequently practices
change
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as a result
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, she reaches to high level in her field.
To sum up
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, we could say that the advantages of
change
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 outweigh the disadvantages as I mentioned above. The main advantage is to improve performance and the second is a renewal of
life
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. In my opinion, I advise everyone to take charge as a habit in his
life
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.
Submitted by yusrakalamre on

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task response
Ensure that your essay fully addresses the prompt and include a balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages of change. Provide a clear opinion supported by relevant examples.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the organization of your essay to ensure a clear and logical structure. Use cohesive devices to link ideas within and between sentences and paragraphs.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adaptability
  • resilience
  • stagnation
  • opportunities
  • personal growth
  • development
  • instability
  • stress
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • innovation
  • technology
  • quality of life
  • flexibility
  • embrace
  • transformative
What to do next:
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