IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The table below gives information about salaries of secondary/high school teachers in five countries in 2009.

The table below gives information about salaries of secondary/high school teachers in five countries in 2009.
#information #salaries #school #teachers #five #countries
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The table illustrates the
teachers
Use synonyms
’ salaries in secondary and high schools in
Australia
Use synonyms
, Denmark,
Luxembourg
Use synonyms
, Korea, and Japan in the year 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
,
teachers
Use synonyms
 in
Luxembourg
Use synonyms
 earned the highest salary,
while
Linking Words
teachers
Use synonyms
 from
Australia
Use synonyms
 were the lowest paid.
In addition
Linking Words
, the amount of time for
teachers
Use synonyms
 in Denmark and
Australia
Use synonyms
 to earn the maximum salary was much faster than that in other countries. It can be clearly observed from the table that
teachers
Use synonyms
 in secondary and high schools in
Luxembourg
Use synonyms
 received the highest starting salary (at $80,000), which was $33,000 and $26,000 higher than the figures for
teachers
Use synonyms
 in
Australia
Use synonyms
 and Denmark respectively.
Then
Linking Words
, the amount of
teachers
Use synonyms
’ money in
Luxembourg
Use synonyms
 significantly climbed to $112,000 per year before reaching a peak of $139,000 after 30
years
Use synonyms
 of experience.
Similarly
Linking Words
, Australian and Danish
teachers
Use synonyms
 saw a dramatic rise to hit their highest points of $48,000 and $54,000 in their earnings after around 9 teaching
years
Use synonyms
 respectively. In terms of the other countries, the figures for Korean and Japanese
teachers
Use synonyms
 were under $30,000 at the beginning. After that, there was a substantial increase to $52,600 in the amount of money for
teachers
Use synonyms
 in Korea, which was $6,000 higher than that in Japan.
While
Linking Words
 Japanese
teachers
Use synonyms
 needed 34
years
Use synonyms
 to get their maximum
salaries
Fix the agreement mistake
salary
show examples
 of $62,400, Korean
teachers
Use synonyms
 reached their maximum pay of $84,500 after 37 experience
years
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by luongduy30411996 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, luxembourg, teachers, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • secondary/high school teachers
  • annual salary
  • gross income
  • net salary
  • cost of living
  • education funding
  • gender pay gap
  • teaching hours
  • years of experience
  • additional qualifications
  • economic indicators
  • average wage
  • currency conversion
  • educational disparities
  • international comparison
What to do next:
Look at other essays: