Some people think that human needs for farmland,housing and industry are more important than saving land for endangered animals. Do you agree or disagree with this point of view. Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice?

It is argued that the importance of providing human requirements is more essential than protecting
animals
from dying out. In my opinion, I believe that protecting endangered species is crucial for the preservation of
biodiversity
and the maintenance of healthy ecosystems. On the one hand,
biodiversity
is essential for the process that
support
Change the verb form
supports
show examples
all life on earth.
Biodiversity
is a wide range of
animals
and plants. If we take into account that the main ingredient consumed by
people
is meat and
animals
are the main source, we can understand the significance of endangered
animals
.
For example
, nowadays, overpopulation is one of the main problems that cause occupying lands belonging to
animals
due to
human needs.
Thus
,
people
use the lands to make new settlements and farmlands.
On the other hand
, overhunting and overfishing
destroys
Correct subject-verb agreement
destroy
show examples
the natural balance and damage to healthy ecosystem. An increase in population forces
people
to consume a lot of meat than normal and building new buildings brings about deforestation and puts
animals
in danger of extinction.
For instance
, the majority of lands suffer from drought today.
To conclude
, the priority of
people
consists of providing their comfort zone without concern about endangered
animals
. When all reasons and examples are considered and evaluated, it can be concluded that in order to save
biodiversity
and keep natural balance,
people
should always put the protection of rare animal species in the first place.
Submitted by zuleykhaaliyeva223 on

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cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices effectively to ensure the essay is cohesive.
task achievement
You should provide more specific real-world examples to explain your points.
task response
While you've done well with your arguments, it's important to also give your essay depth with more developed analysis.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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