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Band 4.5

Some people think news has no connection to people's lives so then it is a waste of time to read news paper and watch television news programs To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #news #connection #lives #waste #time #paper #television #programs
nowadays
news
 is a great source of information, some people would say it's a waste of time to consume media like
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 and television. there are two issues to be dealt with one is that
news
 may be fake or untrustworthy, and the other is that
news
 may be outdated and just not relevant. fake
news
 definitely has been causing a lot of trouble for many people,
for example
 selling your market shares because you thought the company just went bankrupt is one instance of the effect of fake
news
. outdated
news
 can be troublesome as well, The price of oil gases and other natural resources can be detrimental to your trades so if you check outdated
news
 or the
news
 source that you are using provides you with old and inaccurate data, it can be quite damaging to your portfolio if you consider the business aspect.
overall
news
 is a great way to stay informed and it has a great connection to people's lives so it cannot be fully omitted from our lives. we depend on
news
 and even if it may sometimes
fake
Add a missing verb
be fake
show examples
 or outdated with varied sources of information we can conclude that it is not a waste of time to indulge yourself in
news
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Grammar
Please use proper capitalization and punctuation. Misuse impacts readability negatively and presents a lack of attention to detail.
Content
The points made are applicable and logical, but they focus too much on the negative aspects of news (fake or outdated). Ensure to balance your arguments or clearly present your standpoint before diving into points that might seem to contradict it.
Style
Always try to use formal language, avoid using contractions ('It's' instead of 'it is') for a more professional tone.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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