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Band 2.5

who cause children obesity? parents or fast food outlets. do you agree or disagree

#children #obesity #parents #food #outlets
These days
ovesity
Correct your spelling
obesity
 has become major
issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
show examples
 among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers
due to
 the increase in the consumption of junk foods.In
this
eassay
Correct your spelling
essay
 we will
disscuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
 which is the main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 that issue
parents
 or
food
 outlets. And
at the
end
Add a comma
,end
show examples
 I will draw my conclusion.
First
Add a comma
,First
show examples
 we will discuss
that
Correct word choice
apply
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how the
parents
Change noun form
parent's
parents'
show examples
negelecne
Correct your spelling
neglected
 on their children is increasing the issue. These days
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
parents
 have so much busy
schedule
Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
show examples
 that they
dnt
Correct your spelling
don't
 have enough
time
 to properly train their children and they
dnt
Correct your spelling
don't
 spend enough
time
 with them.
And after
Correct word choice
After
show examples
 that electronic gadgets and social media
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
also
 to blame for,
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
when
parents
 do have spare
time
 they spend their
occupy
Wrong verb form
occupied
show examples
time
 using social media.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 latest research reports in America
depicts
Correct subject-verb agreement
depict
show examples
 that 70
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
parents
dnt
Correct your spelling
do
 their
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 daily routine. And the second
reson
Correct your spelling
reason
 for that issue is the
eassiness
Correct your spelling
easiness
business
 of buying
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
food
 outlets. Now the
food
outlers
Correct your spelling
outlets
outliers
 are
every where
Correct your spelling
everywhere
show examples
. And one can easily buy the junk
food
. These days most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies promote junk
food
 and
also
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of
discount
Change to a plural noun
discounts
show examples
given
Add a missing verb
are given
show examples
 to the
youn
Correct your spelling
young
 ones. So in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 both are to blame for but in my
Correct your spelling
opinion
oppinion
Correct your spelling
opinion
parents
 are most to blame for,
Submitted by aslamawais55 on

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structure
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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