IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that governments should invest more in public services instead of wasting money on arts such as music and paintings. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #governments #services #money #arts #music #paintings
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Arts
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such
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 as music and theatre are necessary for
society
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 to maintain a healthy and happy lifestyle. where a certain section of people were against the idea of the
government
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 spending money on the entertainment industry and they would suggest that investing in the
service
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 sector is more beneficial. I partially disagree with the idea of not investing in the
arts
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.
To begin
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 with, music and theatre are some of the best kinds of entertainment people can experience in
society
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. Most of the citizens would like to live in a place where there is an accessibility for entertainment to relax during weekend and festival periods.
Government
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 investment in
arts
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 can not only make its residents happy but
also
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 generate revenue in return.
For example
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, Film City in India is one of the biggest income generators for the
government
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 and it employs several people from
society
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.
On the other hand
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, there is
also
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 a need for
government
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 to invest in public
service
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 which is essential for its citizens. Investing all money in public
service
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 may not return any profits for the
government
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 but
also
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 can cause a depletion of
government
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 resources. So investing in
arts
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 which can create income for the
government
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 will help the
government
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 to maintain funds flowing to public
service
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.
To conclude
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, allocating a budget to
arts
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 is really necessary in a
society
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 for a
government
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 to keep its citizens happy which can
also
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 help the
government
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 with generating revenue.
This
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 revenue can be utilised in other sectors too for the
overall
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 development of the country.
Submitted by jayachandra006 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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