Some people say that teenagers should work part time and earn money. this way they will learn basic ;essons and dicipline others argue that teenagers should not sacrifice their rest after school activities discuss both views

Whilst, many people think that youngsters should
work
after their school hours as a
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
. I believe it should be the choice of students either they want to
work
or they want to spend their
time
with some other activities. on the one hand, some
parents
insist their
children
work
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
. There are numerous reasons behind
this
statement.
Firstly
, when they earn their hard money they will wisely think
to spend
Change preposition
about spending
show examples
that money on unuseful things. They will learn the value of money.
However
, they can ease the burden on their
parents
about their
mislineous
Correct your spelling
midlines
expenses.
moreover
, They will be busy with their schedule so they will not waste precious
time
by going to clubs and doing late-night parties. They will become more productive and hardworking in their
life
.
However
, some of the
parents
do not allow their
children
to job during their teenage. They want their
children
to live
stress-free
Add an article
a stress-free
show examples
life
and just focus on their studies. They can spend their spare
time
playing some outdoor games which will help them with
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
and fit
life
.
In addition
to
this
, they spend their
time
with their family members which is good for mental health.
Parents
want their
children
to
exlpore
Correct your spelling
explore
more
opprtunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
for their future which they are willing to
work
. In conclusion,
Although
there are different opinions about working
an
Change preposition
at an
show examples
early age. They should have the right to choose whether they want an independent
life
or they want to spend their
time
focusing only on their studies.
Submitted by sp1807999 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: