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Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, people spend long hours at work. Why does this happen ? Is it positive or negative development ?

#countries #people #hours #work #happen #development
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The trend of people spending most of their day working is increasing in some countries.
However
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, there are several reasons that lead to
this
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 issue. It brings the passive
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 for all people and society. To start with,
this
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 problem is happening in many countries, most concentrated in developed countries and it is caused by many reasons. First of all, their tight
work
Use synonyms
 schedules force them to
work
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 anywhere, anytime. If they don't finish their
work
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, they will
work
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 overtime until it's done or take it home to
work
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.
Secondly
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, the competition between colleagues is very strict, they think that they have to try harder, they put them under a certain pressure to develop their career or get more attention from superiors.
Therefore
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, their chances of advancement will be higher. In my opinion, they spend most of
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
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their
time
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to
Change the verb form
working
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work
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, they can get promoted,
earn
Correct word choice
and earn
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 more money to pay for their lives. But
on the other hand
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, Working person usually
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not have
to
Correct your spelling
too
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 much
time
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 for themselves and their families,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 can hurt the relationships around
you
Correct pronoun usage
them
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.
For example
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, many couples divorce because one spouse spends too much
time
Use synonyms
 on their career without paying attention to the other.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
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 that, they will not have
time
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 to do what they like, will have an unhealthy eating lifestyle and will lead to many physical and mental diseases, life will no longer have meaning. In conclusion, being a workaholic will lead to many consequences for yourself, your family and
friends
Correct pronoun usage
your friends
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, so everyone needs to have a balanced lifestyle to enjoy life more.
Submitted by anhnguhongmai on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prevalent
  • economic pressures
  • financial stability
  • competitive job markets
  • corporate cultures
  • stigma
  • demonstrate dedication
  • advent of technology
  • blurred the lines
  • accelerated career progression
  • dedicated employee
  • significant negative implications
  • stress levels
  • mental health
  • physical health
  • social and family time
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • flexible working hours
  • work-life balance
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