Over consuming sugar is unhealthy. Some people think that governments should take responsibility to control it. Others think that individuals should take responsibility of sugar intake. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In today's time, it is very important for humans to have a good and healthy life but most youngsters prefer to consume food which is unhealthy.
Thus
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, it can create various diseases like obesity and the risk of heart failure.
Moreover
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, some
people
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think that the authorities should
control
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the usage of
sugar
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, but a specific tribe thinks that every person is responsible for their own. I strongly believe that The consumption of sucrose should be controlled individually so that the person who has less
sugar
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can
also
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Correct your spelling
enjoy
itenjoy
Correct pronoun usage
itenjoy it
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. Many citizens of the country believe that the government should actively participate and
control
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the level of carbohydrate consumption in the country. To elaborate,
people
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think that the Ministry should make a strict law regarding the selling of
sugar
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.
Moreover
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, the administration should make it compulsory for the manufacturer to mention the amount of
carbohydrates
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used in a product.
For example
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, an article in the Times of India says that around 80% of the total population of India does not know how much
sugar
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has been consumed on a daily basis.
Thus
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, the ruler of the country can
control
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the level of
sugar
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utilization.
On the other hand
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, the
Majority
Fix capitalization
majority
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of
people
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think that
sugar
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expenditure should be controlled on an individual basis.
Due to
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the negligence of humans, a majority of
people
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consume a lot of packet food which contains a heavy amount of
sugar
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.
Furthermore
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, one should understand that everyone is allowed to consume
carbohydrates
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but in a limited way.
For instance
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, in my family, a lot of folks have diabetes, but my brother consumes
carbohydrates
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very carefully so that he can enjoy the sweetness.
Therefore
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, it is very important for a certain to look at and
control
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carbohydrates
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on a personal basis.
To conclude
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, in my ,opinion both the government and the
people
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should come together. In order to eliminate the whiskey disease of diabetes.in order to stop
this
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, I believe it can be much easier if it can be eliminated individually
Submitted by ayush.s2352 on

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task achievement
Task Response: The essay partially addresses the task, providing views on government and individual responsibility. However, the response lacks depth and clarity in presenting and justifying the opinion.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a basic overall structure but lacks coherence and cohesion at several points. The introduction and conclusion need improvement, and the supporting points require stronger connections and transitions.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • over-consuming
  • unhealthy
  • government responsibility
  • control
  • sugar intake
  • taxes on sugary products
  • regulations
  • advertising
  • public health campaigns
  • associated risks
  • personal responsibility
  • self-discipline
  • dietary habits
  • advocating
  • nutrition information
  • empowers
  • informed choices
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