Some people say international sports event help in world peace? Do you agree or disagree?

#people #sports #event #world #peace

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Nowadays, whenever we switch on the television or see the newspaper

people

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are arguing about their favourite sportsperson. some below

this

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sports

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event will bring peace worldwide. I completely disagree with

this

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statement and below paragraph I discussed.

Firstly

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, every one of us likes to see who represents our country and should win the activity but, when we lost the match they started to show haterade for the opposite community and sometimes they fought as well.

For example

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, in India and Pakistan cricket matches when they play most

people

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get excited and start to demotivate other country

people

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, you can see the anger they have for each other.

Secondly

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, these,

sports

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event shows which country is the best there will be comparisons which can be challenging and difficult to handle the situation.

Furthermore

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, in

this

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,case there are more chances to have differences on Earth.

On the other hand

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, international

sports

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are considered as that two communities can be together and bring peace and take sport as a challenge but hate rates.

Such

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as, some

people

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love to watch

sports

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events which them motivated and they can choose their career.

For example

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, Messi and Ronaldo when they community enjoy their game.

Furthermore

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, some of us all the time looking for some point so they start their arguments.

while

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in the stadium they are creating an environment where

people

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are getting offended which can lead to a war and distance in other nations.

To sum up

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, there are some

people

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who are creating issues and few of them come to enjoy. As many of them will not bring any peace in the world.

Submitted by pr6272189 on Fri Sep 29 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay seems to lack coherence in some parts, making it somewhat difficult to understand the ideas being presented.

task achievement

Make sure to support your main points with strong, detailed examples.

task achievement

Ensure your writing is clear and ideas are easy to comprehend.

language resource

Some areas of the text are grammatically incorrect. The grammar and language usage should be revisited.

coherence cohesion

The essay requires a more structured approach. Present views clearly and maintain flow within the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

272 words

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Some people say international sports event help in world peace? Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

These days Internet-based courses have become a popular alternative to university-based courses. Some students prefer this type of learning because they do not need to attend lectures. Others argure that it is important to study at university. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

It has become very common for people to borrow money. Maby people have credit card, a mortgage and often they buy a car on credit card as well. Is this a good idea or this is too risky? Discuss both views abd give your own opinion.

Traffic on roads has become a problem in nearly every country in the world. What can be done to reduce the amount of traffic at a society level and at an individual level?