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Band 7.5

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion ? What sort punishments

#children #difference #right #age #punishment #distinction #sort #punishments
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Bringing an ideal generation is not as easy as expected, a vast majority of guardians vary between plenty of nurturing principles.
While
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 some
parents
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 view that
children
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 should be punished to recognize right and deviant behaviours, some experts contend that it is an incompatible and devastating method for youngsters’ personalities. I completely agree with the letter's argument and I believe that
parents
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 have a considerable responsibility for reinforcing and supporting
children
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 positively. To embark on, it is acknowledged that
children
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 at
this
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 early stage require significant care.
In other words
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,
while
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 they are extremely pliable and pure creatures, their brain is typically fresh, and they are observing persistently the surrounding environment, imitating others' behaviours.
That is
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 why, frequently they raise questions regarding everything , even plenty of
parents
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 are unable to answer their questions.
Therefore
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, it is crucial to be an ideal role model to them, interacting and adopting positive methods.
For example
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, nowadays,
due to
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 an increasing number of families’ pressing problems in societies, there is an immense concern toward recommending
parents
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 the paramount importance of positive rearing methods.
Nevertheless
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, I completely disagree with the idea of punishing
children
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. Undertaking punishment in cultivating offspring has a deleterious impact on their personalities.
For instance
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, it has been proven that penalizing
children
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 leads to severe mental and behavioural disorders,
such
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 as a lack of self-confidence and exerting violent activities toward their peers at school.
Thus
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, it is essential to teach them using rewards, grants and effective discussion rather than punishing them.
To conclude
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, I firmly concur that
parents
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 play an imperative role in supporting and fostering their offspring with a beneficial and positive approach
in addition
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 to enhancing family bonding.
Furthermore
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, I am strongly against the view of punishing them because it is unacceptable morally for human well-being.
Submitted by alaan0542 on

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Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Be careful about spelling and grammar. For example, 'To what extend' should be 'To what extent'.
Task Response
Try to provide more direct examples to support your argument, this gives your essay a more convincing impact.
Lexical Resource
It would be beneficial if you avoid repetition of certain words or phrases.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure not to digress from the main topic. Stick closely to the given title.
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