IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Economic progress is not the only way to measure the success of a country. What other factors do you think there are in measuring the success of a country? Which do you think is the most important factor?

#progress #measure #success #country #factors #factor
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people think that financial prosperity is not the only factor which shows
achievements
Correct article usage
the achievements
show examples
 of the
country
Use synonyms
. I agree that
money
Use synonyms
 is not the only way
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
success
Use synonyms
 determination, and I try to show some more factors which can be used in
valuation
Add an article
the valuation
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
success
Correct article usage
the success
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
 and try to highlight
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
important
Correct pronoun usage
onesimportant
show examples
. On the one hand,
money
Use synonyms
 is the universal way to measure
Use synonyms
success
Add an article
the success
show examples
 of countries, especially in terms of capitalistic paradigm society development. It seems clear that one
country
Use synonyms
 which makes more
many
Correct your spelling
money
show examples
 than another one,
in particular
Linking Words
 GDP per capita, is more effective. It comes from
determination
Add an article
the determination
show examples
 of
effectiveness
Use synonyms
 which is
relation
Add an article
the relation
a relation
show examples
 of spent energy to achieved result. On top of that ability to fast adaptivity can be observed
likewise
Linking Words
 the
success
Use synonyms
 element and must be measured by
money
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, countries which can predict future trends and develop proper technologies can earn more
money
Use synonyms
.
Such
Linking Words
 happened with Tesla company in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 which cough the idea to create electricity cars.
Due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,
assets
Correct article usage
the assets
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 company now are
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 expensive in the world.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
happiness
Add an article
the happiness
show examples
 of citizens must be taken
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
 the most crucial mark of
Use synonyms
effectiveness
Add an article
the effectiveness
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
. Obviously, there is no point
to speak
Change preposition
in speaking
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
effectiveness
Use synonyms
 if inhabitants are unhappy.
Happiness
Use synonyms
 depends
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
government
Change noun form
government's
show examples
 will and
closely
Add a missing verb
is closely
show examples
 related
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 different paradigms
such
Linking Words
 as capitalism, socialism, communism or even digital fascism which can
appeared
Change the verb form
appear
show examples
 in the
nearest
Correct word choice
near
show examples
 future.
Although
Linking Words
 digital or pharmaceutical fascism can be more effective in terms of
money
Use synonyms
 it has nothing with
Use synonyms
happiness
Add an article
the happiness
show examples
 of people.
However
Linking Words
,
happiness
Use synonyms
 is not
Correct article usage
a materialistic
show examples
materialistic
Correct article usage
a materialistic
show examples
 category it
also
Linking Words
 can be scaled and measured.
For example
Linking Words
, comparable research
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the level of
happiness
Use synonyms
 in socialistic China and capitalistic Japan shows that Chinese people
much
Add a missing verb
are much
show examples
more happy
Replace the words
happier
show examples
 than
Japanese
Correct article usage
the Japanese
show examples
 and
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of suicides among
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Japanese
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 much higher. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 I would like to highlight that
money
Use synonyms
 is not the only and not the major way of measuring of
Use synonyms
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
effectiveness
Use synonyms
. My prediction is that other factors
such
Linking Words
 as
happiness
Use synonyms
 level in
citizens
Change noun form
citizens'
citizen's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 will play
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 and more important role in
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
show examples
effectiveness
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by s_syedy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout your essay.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammatical accuracy.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: