IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe it is important for cities and towns to invest heavily in building large outdoor spaces. Do you agree or disagree?

Some
people
Use synonyms
 have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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differing ideas about the importance of investing a large quantity of money in the construction of outdoor places or offices. I completely agree with
this
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 statement
due to
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a
Correct article usage
the
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 huge benefits of
this
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such
Linking Words
 as reducing anxiety and interacting with much more
people
Use synonyms
 around. On the one hand, building a myriad of open
areas
Use synonyms
 for the citizens of the country can waste the
areas
Use synonyms
 which,
otherwise
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, might be used for more important places like
the
Correct article usage
apply
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erecting
the
Correct article usage
apply
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hospitals or schools
that
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 rather necessary for the population, especially the ones which has a small-scale territory.
Additionally
Linking Words
, there are, nowadays, more homeless
people
Use synonyms
 around the world,
in particular
Linking Words
, in countries whose economy is poor
as well as
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 not well-developed,
therefore
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,
instead
Linking Words
 of allocating an area for
this
Linking Words
 kind of open
Use synonyms
areas
Fix the agreement mistake
area
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, giving an opportunity for building a homeless shelters for these
people
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 can be more preferable, some
people
Use synonyms
 think.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, creating an open
atmospheres
Correct the article-noun agreement
atmosphere
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 for
people
Use synonyms
 can be a great stress reliever by balancing their anxiety or depression
as a result
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 of their working overtime.
In particular
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, the breadwinners who work in many jobs to satisfy their family's needs tend to get depressed very swiftly so
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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 open air might be a great place to relieve their tensions.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, outdoor
areas
Use synonyms
 serve as a place where
people
Use synonyms
could
Wrong verb form
can
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 connect with their peers, which means that it helps them to be more open-minded and sociable in
real
Add an article
the real
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 world, in my opinion. In conclusion, it is true to some point that outdoor spaces might own a massive territory which might be used for other valuable needs.
However
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, they are much more important as a place to reduce stress levels of
people
Use synonyms
, I think.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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