The graph below shows levels of online shopping by age group for different times of the day. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

The graph below shows levels of online shopping by age group for different times of the day. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.
The diagram displays statistics about shopping on the Internet of five age groups at different times of day in 2015. In general, the proportion of all groups increased to
shop
Wrong verb form
shopping
show examples
around 9
am
Correct your spelling
a.m
. After
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
they kept going to rise strongly from 2
pm
and
peak
Wrong verb form
peaking
show examples
at 6
pm
– before 8
pm
.
Then
the number of online shoppers dropped dramatically from 10
pm
to midnight.
However
, the over
60
Correct your spelling
60-year-old
years
old
group
reached the highest rate in the morning at 9
pm
– before 12
pm
.
Firstly
, the
group
25 – 34
years
is the largest
group
that did online shopping with approximately 34% of sales at 6
pm
– before 8
pm
.
Then
the rate slightly decreased and sharply dipped from 8
pm
to midnight.
Secondly
, the rest 3 groups 16 – 24
years
, 35 – 44
years
and 45 – 59
years
also
rose slowly from 12
pm
and started to peak
31
Change preposition
at 31
show examples
% of
35
Correct article usage
the 35
show examples
– 44
years
group
before 8
pm
.
Finally
, the people over 60
years
old fluctuated between 9 am to 4
pm
Correct your spelling
p.m
. They peak around 20% before 12
pm
and start to decline from 2
pm
Submitted by duyuyen18 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words pm, years, group with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

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