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Band 5

Some people believe that social media has had a negative impact on society, while others argue that it has brought about positive changes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #media #impact #society #changes
In
this
 modern world,
people
 are engaged in watching social programs on a
phone
during
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a long period of time. It is considered by some that apps, which are international,
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 negatively on the population.
Whereas
 other
people
 suggest that
such
 kinds of apps can come with numerous advantages.
Although
 they
negative
Change the adjective
negatively
show examples
 affect on
human-beings
Correct your spelling
human beings
show examples
like
Change preposition
apply
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harmful
for
Change preposition
to
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eyes
Correct article usage
the eyes
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 and becoming passive, they have benefits
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
 knowing the latest news, learning languages, and they may even assist with finding jobs. I argue that social
media
 may have more disadvantages. There are several reasons why I would argue against utilizing international apps
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
 with negative impacts.
For example
, what if
people
connected
Wrong verb form
connect
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 to
Correct pronoun usage
their phone
show examples
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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 tightly, they do not act more
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
This
 can lead to obesity.
For instance
, a friend of mine was
such
 kind of person, now he is obese, and his eye was
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
 negatively by the
phone
. Because of less acting. To overcome connecting to
phone
Wrong verb form
phones
show examples
 tightly,
people
 should use social
media
 on smartphones limitedly. I believe that
this
 would best solution to mitigate
this
 problem
On the other hand
, using social
media
also
 involves merits.
Such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they are essential for learning. What I mean by
this
 is that there
are
Change the verb form
is
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 a good deal of information and
new
Correct your spelling
news
show examples
 related to studying. By learning that information,
people
 will be even more knowledgeable than before. As an example, I am learning
English
Change the article
the English
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 language by using
those
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
international programs. It is an effective and
funny
Correct word choice
fun
show examples
 way to learn a foreign language.
While
people
 should be familiar with restrictions. In conclusion, not only
utilizing
Add a missing verb
does utilizing
show examples
 social
media
involved
Verb problem
have
show examples
 many negative impacts, but
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
also
involve
Correct subject-verb agreement
involves
show examples
 a number of benefits. Disadvantages are being obese and eye with glasses.
Whereas
 the advantage is learning effectively like language.
Submitted by @ur_davrik on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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