IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that social media has had a negative impact on society, while others argue that it has brought about positive changes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In
this
Linking Words
 modern world,
people
Use synonyms
 are engaged in watching social programs on a
phone
Use synonyms
during
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a long period of time. It is considered by some that apps, which are international,
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 negatively on the population.
Whereas
Linking Words
 other
people
Use synonyms
 suggest that
such
Linking Words
 kinds of apps can come with numerous advantages.
Although
Linking Words
 they
negative
Change the adjective
negatively
show examples
 affect on
human-beings
Correct your spelling
human beings
show examples
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
harmful
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
eyes
Correct article usage
the eyes
show examples
 and becoming passive, they have benefits
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
 knowing the latest news, learning languages, and they may even assist with finding jobs. I argue that social
media
Use synonyms
 may have more disadvantages. There are several reasons why I would argue against utilizing international apps
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
 with negative impacts.
For example
Linking Words
, what if
people
Use synonyms
connected
Wrong verb form
connect
show examples
 to
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
their phone
show examples
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 tightly, they do not act more
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
This
Linking Words
 can lead to obesity.
For instance
Linking Words
, a friend of mine was
such
Linking Words
 kind of person, now he is obese, and his eye was
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
 negatively by the
phone
Use synonyms
. Because of less acting. To overcome connecting to
Use synonyms
phone
Wrong verb form
phones
show examples
 tightly,
people
Use synonyms
 should use social
media
Use synonyms
 on smartphones limitedly. I believe that
this
Linking Words
 would best solution to mitigate
this
Linking Words
 problem
On the other hand
Linking Words
, using social
media
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 involves merits.
Such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they are essential for learning. What I mean by
this
Linking Words
 is that there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a good deal of information and
new
Correct your spelling
news
show examples
 related to studying. By learning that information,
people
Use synonyms
 will be even more knowledgeable than before. As an example, I am learning
English
Change the article
the English
show examples
 language by using
those
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
international programs. It is an effective and
funny
Correct word choice
fun
show examples
 way to learn a foreign language.
While
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 should be familiar with restrictions. In conclusion, not only
utilizing
Add a missing verb
does utilizing
show examples
 social
media
Use synonyms
involved
Verb problem
have
show examples
 many negative impacts, but
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
also
Linking Words
involve
Correct subject-verb agreement
involves
show examples
 a number of benefits. Disadvantages are being obese and eye with glasses.
Whereas
Linking Words
 the advantage is learning effectively like language.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: