IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that poverty is the reason behind most crimes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #poverty #reason #crimes
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It is true that many people believe that destitution is one of the root causes of offence.
While
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 I acknowledge that serious
crimes
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 can be committed because of various factors and reasons,
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Therefore
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apply
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Most less serious
crimes
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 are caused by penury and worse
life
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conditions
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. There are several reasons to agree with the given question above.
Firstly
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 many criminals engage in crime in order to survive and support their families financially. In other ,words they are forced to do illegal actions
such
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 as smuggling, pickpocketing and even killings to make both ends meet.
For example
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, research has proven that many people have worse
life
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conditions
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, So many he or she is inclined to the
crimes
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 in the future.
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Secondly
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,Secondly
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 it is a distribution of
crimes
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, drugs and illegal substances in poor areas among children, teenagers and even their parents. It means that in disadvantaged areas
such
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 as ghettos or criminal districts. smuggling and drug dealing are becoming popular and widespread as an easy way to earn money.
For instance
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, London City’s east-end district is one of the most hazardous places in the United Kingdom because since the beginning of
this
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 ,year there have been 82,453 lawlessnesses. ,
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Consequently
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,Consequently
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 If poverty does not affect on crime rate so much, Thousands of adult lives, children and teenagers will be saved in the future. It is considered that sometimes
crimes
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 are being committed not only because of poverty. In other quarters half of the serious
crimes
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 are corruption and killings caused by conflicts. As an example, 30,000-35,000
crimes
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 in Kazakhstan are not because of destitution and bad influence.
Therefore
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 not many
crimes
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 are related to
life
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conditions
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, social status or even prosperity, They are related to personal qualities and outer factors.
Overall
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, all the aforementioned points illustrate that half of the
crimes
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 happen because of poverty. If we did not have social statuses or inequality in
life
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conditions
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, a Big amount of
crimes
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 would not be committed.
Submitted by aikumarbekarys on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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