IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The use of social media, e.g. Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact for many people in everyday life. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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social media
it
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apply
show examples
is the most popular
things
Fix the agreement mistake
thing
show examples
 to communicate through
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
nowadays
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 replace it
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 face-to-face contact in everyday
life
Use synonyms
. I am completely convinced that the advantages of
this
Linking Words
 outweigh its
disadvatages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
. The main benefit
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
os
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is a folk might be sociable and the main drawback is
people
Use synonyms
 might be close to death. One of the principal advantages of meeting
people
Use synonyms
 in real
life
Use synonyms
 is that they become sociable as it can play a key role in their future
life
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that interacting with other
people
Use synonyms
 might be easy for those
people
Use synonyms
 who
more
Add a missing verb
are more
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 shy.
For instance
Linking Words
, many companies require
people
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 who
more
Add a missing verb
are more
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 sociable and can interact with
people
Use synonyms
 in real
life
Use synonyms
 than via
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
. A primary example of
this
Linking Words
 is young
people
Use synonyms
 from India who were shy , but after they started
communicate
Wrong verb form
communicating
show examples
 with
people
Use synonyms
 in real
life
Use synonyms
 their
Use synonyms
life-style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
have altered
Verb problem
changed
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 and
as a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
,result
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 they enrolled in
the
Correct article usage
a
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 quality company with
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 salary. One of the main disadvantages of communicating in real
life
Use synonyms
 is that
people
Use synonyms
 can steal your items ,
such
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 as
phone
Correct pronoun usage
your phone
show examples
 or other close things
due to
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 the fact that every year
people
Use synonyms
 become more offensive and that's why they make
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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decions
Correct your spelling
decision
decisions
.
For instance
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, if
people
Use synonyms
 socialise in real
life
Use synonyms
, it can negatively
impacted
Change the verb form
impact
be impacted
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on
Change preposition
apply
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their health. A primary example of
this
Linking Words
 is teenagers from the USA who made
a friends
Correct the article-noun agreement
friends
a friend
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 through social media and met with them in real
life
Use synonyms
.
As a result
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,
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 killed approximately
over
Rephrase
apply
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30 % of
Correct article usage
the poplation
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poplation
Correct your spelling
population
 of the USA. In conclusion, even
it
Correct word choice
if it
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very
Add a missing verb
is very
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 beneficial for
people
Use synonyms
interact
Fix the infinitive
to interact
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 in real
life
Use synonyms
but
Correct word choice
apply
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they should be more
respinsible
Correct your spelling
responsible
about
Change preposition
for
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thei
Correct your spelling
their
the
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 as it can be very dangerous.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • communication
  • convenience
  • accessibility
  • self-expression
  • creativity
  • information
  • perspectives
  • maintain
  • genuine
  • miscommunication
  • misunderstandings
  • mental health
  • well-being
  • addiction
  • excessive screen time
  • privacy concerns
  • online security risks
What to do next:
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