IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

More and more young people from wealthy countries are spending a short time in communities in poorer countries doing unpaid work such as teaching ore building houses. Why? Who benefits more from this, the community or these young people?

#people #countries #time #communities #work #ore #houses #community
Nowadays, it is becoming more and more popular to help the public in poor countries by doing different kinds of volunteer work like supplying food or building houses.
However
, there are some certain disadvantages,
such
 as low salaries and hard working conditions. So, the main question is, "Do the benefits of these jobs overweight drawbacks?" In my way of thinking, it depends on the people's wealth and the amount of money that they have and, In
this
 essay, I am going to prove my viewpoint with several arguments.
To begin
 with, it is necessary to understand that not all population can spend their time helping others.
For example
, if someone has to provide financial help to the whole family, there is no time and reason for him to work in
this
 field,
due to
 the fact that he should spend funds buying products and paying rent.
On the other hand
, if we are talking about a young and financially stable person, it may be a good opportunity for him or her to take a useful experience which can be used to take a job in a large international company where a high salary is
also
 provided.
Moreover
,
this
 type of work is an effective way to help the world and reduce the number of poor people. In conclusion, I would like to say that volunteer jobs are so important and can really help society all over the world.
Nevertheless
, under no circumstances, should humans take part in
this
 activity, if they have their own problems.
Submitted by me.melnichenko on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: