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Band 6.5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations
Humans have different kinds of
life
 with special
conditions
 and sometimes these
conditions
 are changed. The majority of individuals claim that
this
 is a reasonable way to deal a hard circumstances like, a low salary or a disliked occupation.
However
, there are others that think it is good to
attempt
Add the particle
toattempt
show examples
 modify worse situations. I want to converse both
this
 perspective and give my own idea. On the one hand, some
people
 think that inadequate jobs or do not have enough money are the same
conditions
 all over the world and they should agree with
this
 situation.
For instance
, a worker who works 12 hours a day for a low income without any insurance believes that
this
 is his destiny because he does not have a reliable education.
Also
, some claim that it is difficult to
change
 their ways so they take it out to
change
 their
conditions
.
On the other hand
, some individuals think powerfully and have a lot of aim and they never give up in bad situations. They believe that
people
 make their own lives so they can develop their way of
life
 by trying hard.
For example
, a student has a high_minded goal and she does not accept low qualifications so she decides to study hard in order to achieve her own dream. These kinds of
people
 want to have a high quality of
life
 and believe that they can turn their bad situations into better
conditions
. In my perspective, each human has
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 to choose and can
change
 their future.
For example
, a worker who does not have an education can start studying to achieve a better
life
 with lots of money. In conclusion, it is true that sometimes
life
 is difficult but
people
 can
change
 it by doing some strategy.
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grammar
There are minor grammatical errors throughout the essay. Consider revising for clarity and correctness.
idea development
The essay's ideas are a bit vague and need further development for greater clarity and depth.
sentence structure
Try to make your sentence structure more varied and complex for a higher score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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