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Writing Samples
Band 6

Unemployment is one of the biggest problems of contemporary society. What do you think are the main causes of unemployment? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#unemployment #society
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Unemployment
 is becoming more widespread in many parts of the world.
This
 essay will examine the causes
as well as
 the consequences of
this
 tendency. There are a variety of different causes for
this
 matter.
To begin
 with, the main cause of employment is population increase, in some countries, the population is increasing, leading to an increasing
number
 of job applicants,and the job competition rate
also
 increases, so the
number
 of unemployed
people
 is increasing.
For example
, India is currently the most populous country in the world and
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
also
 has a large
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
unemployment
 rate. Another contributing factor to mention is the impact of the recent COVID-19 pandemic,
due to
 social distancing, many production and business activities have to be temporary, leading to a high
unemployment
 rate. Explanations, COVID-19 has put heavy pressure on the Vietnamese economy in all aspects and the opportunity for workers to find jobs has become more difficult than ever. Unexpectedly, there are some significant effects to be taken into consideration. The first and most important are poor production, underutilised resources,and reduced income. Details, when
people
 are unemployed too much, when
people
 are too unemployed, there will be no one to produce, spend and exploit valuable resources and the economy will fall into a situation of slow development. Another effect no less important is that more social evils will appear, especially
young
Change preposition
among young
show examples
people
. Examples,
unemployed
Add a missing verb
are unemployed
show examples
people
, they don't work and they don't have money so they start stealing, relying on the efforts of those who have jobs. In conclusion,
unemployment
 is a big problem that affects a lot of
people
 nowadays. It’s mainly caused by the spirit of hard work and diligence of each person. From what has been discussed, we need to reduce the
number
 of unemployed
people
, which is advice for a more developed and modern civilization.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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