Some people think that children can learn about history by visiting museums, while others feel that there are better ways to learn about history. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Proponents think that the gallery helps students to understand the past
whereas
, others think that pupils can utilise other resources for history learning. The contradictory view will be discussed along with
my opinion in the upcoming paragraphs.
To embark on, the museum plays a vital role in existing the cultural, religious and historical experiences. To be more precise, apart from the book knowledge, the young public will get a chance to learn history by visiting a gallery. To illustrate, in a main national gallery children can view are equipment used for a battle between countries. Moreover
, a live experience enhances a scholar's sense of well-being by improving their listening and observation skills.
However
, there are many resources a pupil can use to learn history. The advancement in technology helps a student to learn easily rather than visiting a museum. Online platforms such
as YouTube and Wikipedia provide an adequate amount of data related to the student's needs. In addition
, pupils can save money which is required for a visit if they use other resources ,for example
, libraries and online platforms.
As far as I am concerned, the museum always helps a student to gain knowledge about the past as it provides a live experience to them, hence
, children can understand how the world developed till now and also
make them liable citizens of the country.
To sum up
, Museums provides
a direct visual effect to scholars, Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
nevertheless
, students can save money if they utilise online resource
for study. Fix the agreement mistake
resources
However
government has to take the initiative to develop galleries and to encourage the young public to visit those places.Submitted by ansamerrin987 on
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task achievement
Your essay effectively examines both views on how children can learn about history, providing a balanced discussion. However, you could strengthen your arguments with more specific examples and statistical evidence to enhance credibility.
task achievement
Ensure that you clarify your opinion more distinctly. While you prefer museums, your final argument could be more prominent and integrated throughout the essay. Consider linking your viewpoint more directly in each of the body paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a consistent tone and refine your sentence structures to avoid minor inaccuracies. Occasionally, some phrasing is awkward, which slightly impacts the clarity of your points.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving transitions between paragraphs and arguments to enhance the flow of ideas. Ensure there's a clear connection from one point to the next to improve logical coherence.
task achievement
Your introduction sets the scene well for the discussion, mentioning both views and outlining what the essay will cover.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as online platforms like YouTube and Wikipedia, enriches your explanation of alternative ways to learn about history.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and reiterates your stance, providing a clear finish to the essay.
coherence cohesion
You have good paragraph structure with clear topics and supporting sentences, enhancing the overall readability of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.