Some people think that children can learn about history by visiting museums, while others feel that there are better ways to learn about history. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Proponents think that the gallery helps students to understand the past

whereas

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, others think that pupils can utilise other resources for history learning. The contradictory view will be discussed

along with

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my opinion in the upcoming paragraphs. To embark on, the museum plays a vital role in existing the cultural, religious and historical experiences. To be more precise, apart from the book knowledge, the young public will get a chance to learn history by visiting a gallery. To illustrate, in a main national gallery children can view are equipment used for a battle between countries.

Moreover

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, a live experience enhances a scholar's sense of well-being by improving their listening and observation skills.

However

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, there are many resources a pupil can use to learn history. The advancement in technology helps a student to learn easily rather than visiting a museum. Online platforms

such

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as YouTube and Wikipedia provide an adequate amount of data related to the student's needs.

In addition

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, pupils can save money which is required for a visit if they use other resources ,

for example

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, libraries and online platforms. As far as I am concerned, the museum always helps a student to gain knowledge about the past as it provides a live experience to them,

hence

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, children can understand how the world developed till now and

also

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make them liable citizens of the country.

To sum up

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, Museums

provides

Correct subject-verb agreement

provide

show examples

a direct visual effect to scholars,

nevertheless

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, students can save money if they utilise online

resource

Fix the agreement mistake

resources

show examples

for study.

However

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government has to take the initiative to develop galleries and to encourage the young public to visit those places.

Submitted by ansamerrin987 on Sun Oct 01 2023

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task achievement

Your essay effectively examines both views on how children can learn about history, providing a balanced discussion. However, you could strengthen your arguments with more specific examples and statistical evidence to enhance credibility.

task achievement

Ensure that you clarify your opinion more distinctly. While you prefer museums, your final argument could be more prominent and integrated throughout the essay. Consider linking your viewpoint more directly in each of the body paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Maintain a consistent tone and refine your sentence structures to avoid minor inaccuracies. Occasionally, some phrasing is awkward, which slightly impacts the clarity of your points.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving transitions between paragraphs and arguments to enhance the flow of ideas. Ensure there's a clear connection from one point to the next to improve logical coherence.

task achievement

Your introduction sets the scene well for the discussion, mentioning both views and outlining what the essay will cover.

task achievement

The use of specific examples, such as online platforms like YouTube and Wikipedia, enriches your explanation of alternative ways to learn about history.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and reiterates your stance, providing a clear finish to the essay.

coherence cohesion

You have good paragraph structure with clear topics and supporting sentences, enhancing the overall readability of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

268 words

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Some people think that children can learn about history by visiting museums, while others feel that there are better ways to learn about history. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that too much attention and too many resources are given to the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later. Some people think that they are the best people to teach school students the danger of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?