IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

People living in the 21st century have e better life quality than people who lived in previous times. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #st #century #e #life #quality #times
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Most
people
Use synonyms
 think that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 in the modern era
people
Use synonyms
 have made a lot of changes to make activity quality better,
instead
Linking Words
 of the centuries before that,
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 for some
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
community
Add a comma
,community
show examples
 previous time was more peaceful and basic for living. On the one hand differences in the modern era make
life
Use synonyms
 easier. There is a crucial increase in technology.
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 always in contact with others for talks,
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 teaching skills have changed a lot,
although
Linking Words
 any not-changed techniques have been improved. Technological improvements
such
Linking Words
 as phones, navigators, systems, and robots, make it easier to solve problems, which means users can ask artificial intelligence what they want to know, without any conditions
as well as
Linking Words
 have an internet connection,
Linking Words
Nevertheless
Rephrase
apply
show examples
now health issues can be solved rapidly
due to
Linking Words
 numerous drugs, vitamins, and technological devices for checking issues, It has become slightly easier for humans.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the 21st century causes a variety of traffic all over the world,production of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cars , the atmosphere is full of hazardous gases, and global warming another problem of the modern era. In the previous
century
Add a comma
,century
show examples
 there were not these problems at all, not too many cars, or smart devices. ,
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 society met and enjoyed and spent their time together. Kids played a number of outdoor games under the sun. At least there were so many smiles on
people
Use synonyms
's faces, the stress level had been raised over the centuries. So
life
Use synonyms
 wasn't to effortless as now but ,
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
 there was a union between
people
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, Most individuals believe that compared to centuries past,
people
Use synonyms
 today have experienced many improvements that have improved the quality of
life
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, for some
society
Fix the agreement mistake
societies
show examples
,
life
Use synonyms
 back
then
Linking Words
 was simpler and more peaceful.
Submitted by elnur.adil on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: