Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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In today's world, the food and beverage industry produces goods that have an alarmingly high amount of sugar.
While
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it is no secret that these sugary
products
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could cause illnesses, there is nothing being done about it. To combat that some argue
that is
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better to make these
products
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more expensive so that it would discourage
people
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from buying them. I,
however
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, find myself opposing
this
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approach.
This
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essay will delve deeper into the matter.
Firstly
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,
this
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policy will hurt the companies as making their
products
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more expensive will surely have a significantly negative impact on their sales. Though unhealthy, the manufacturing company should not be punished unless they have broken some law.
Therefore
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, placing regulations is a better way to solve
this
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issue.
For example
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, making a specific kind of candy more expensive might plummet the company's sales and make it let go of some of its workers which will have dire consequences of its own.
Secondly
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, putting taxes on
products
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or making them more expensive in the name of the good of the
people
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is often a fruitless endeavour.
Although
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it is important to encourage
people
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to stay away from these sugary
products
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, there are better ways to achieve
this
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goal
such
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as advertisements that state the benefits of consuming less sugar. It has been proven time and time again that
people
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respond negatively to artificially high prices.
For instance
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, in the UK a tax on coffee was imposed to discourage
people
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from drinking it.
This
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,
however
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, proved to be less effective than anticipated and only caused public outrage. An outrage that forced the government to revert its policy.
To conclude
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, I firmly believe that something should be done about
this
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high-sugar product but making them more expensive is simply not the way. Better ways, as detailed in the essay, could be making a law on the government's part or broadcasting the benefits of being healthy and staying far from these
products
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.

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task response
Although the essay presents a clear opinion against making sugary products more expensive, it could benefit from further exploration of opposing viewpoints to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay could better connect ideas between paragraphs for smoother transitions and improved flow.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task response
The essay provides specific examples to support the main points, such as the tax on coffee in the UK.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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