IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The first chart below shows the percentages of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house. The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The first chart below shows the percentages of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house. The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The first chart represents the percentages of
males
Use synonyms
 and
females
Use synonyms
 in a country involved in some housework tasks (
such
Linking Words
 as cooking,cleaning,pet caring, and repairing the
house
Use synonyms
).
Linking Words
While the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
 second chart shows the amount of
time
Use synonyms
 taken by each gender per day to finish each task.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is obvious that the percentage of
females
Use synonyms
 doing home tasks is more than
males
Use synonyms
, yet
males
Use synonyms
 take less
time
Use synonyms
 to finish most
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
 More women cook and clean compared to
Use synonyms
men.
Correct your spelling
men
80% of women cook
while
Linking Words
 60% of
men
Use synonyms
 do.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,60% of women clean and only 40% of
men
Use synonyms
 clean.
However
Linking Words
, more
males
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
25% take care of the pets and 15% do
house
Use synonyms
 repairs,
while
Linking Words
 20% of
females
Use synonyms
 are involved in pet care and 10% in
house
Use synonyms
 repairs.
Males
Use synonyms
 take less
time
Use synonyms
 to finish tasks
in contrast
Linking Words
 to
females
Use synonyms
. As
men
Use synonyms
 take 60
minutes
Use synonyms
 to cook ,
females
Use synonyms
 spend 85
minutes
Use synonyms
 to do the same task.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
males
Use synonyms
 take no
mare
Correct your spelling
more
show examples
 than 45
minutes
Use synonyms
 to clean
while
Linking Words
females
Use synonyms
 take 68
minutes
Use synonyms
 to clean.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, Both
males
Use synonyms
 and
females
Use synonyms
 spend the same
time
Use synonyms
 of 20
minutes
Use synonyms
 on pet care. Yet,
females
Use synonyms
 spend less
time
Use synonyms
 of 5
minutes
Use synonyms
 repairing the
house
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
males
Use synonyms
 spend 15
minutes
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words males, females, house, time, men, minutes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentages" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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