the diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugarcane. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

#process #sugar #sugarcane #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The provided process diagram illustrates different steps of producing

sugar

from

sugar

cane.

Overall

, it can be seen that there are seven stages in

this

linear process. Commencing with cultivating

sugar

cane for 12-18 months in the field and ending with drying and cooling the

sugar

in the mill.

To begin

with, in the first

stage

, 12-18 months

old

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

grown

sugar

canes

Fix the agreement mistake

cane

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

ready to collect from the

sugar

cane field and

then

get harvested in the next

stage

by tractor or by

hands

Fix the agreement mistake

hand

show examples

After

this

stage

, collected

sugar

canes

crushed

Add a missing verb

are crushed

show examples

in the machine to get the juice out, followed by purifying the juice using

limestone

Correct article usage

a limestone

show examples

filter. During the next

stage

, heat is

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

used to turn the juice into syrup by evaporating it and after that centrifuge

stage

where

Rephrase

apply

show examples

the

sugar

crystals get separated from the syrup. At the

last

stage

, by drying and cooling the

sugar

, it is ready to pack and sell.

Submitted by sayelacu2011 on Sun Oct 01 2023

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, stage with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

155 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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the diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugarcane. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The only way to improve road safety is to have stricter punishments for driving offenders. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people think that planting trees in open space cities and towns is more important than building houses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

you have been living in a rental apartment for the past year. Recently a new neighbour moved in and has been making a lot of noise, which disturbs you. Write a letter to the landlord. In your letter: *Explain the situation *Describe why it bothers you *Suggest a solution

Housing wastage in big cities can cause severe social consequences.Some people think only government action can solve this problem.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Influence of human beings on the world's ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of bio- diversity. What are the primary causes of loss of bio-diversity? What solutions can you suggest?

you have been living in a rental apartment for the past year. Recently a new neighbour moved in and has been making a lot of noise, which disturbs you. Write a letter to the landlord. In your letter: Explain the situation Describe why it bothers you *Suggest a solution