the diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugarcane. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

the diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugarcane.

summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The provided process diagram illustrates different steps of producing
sugar
from
sugar
cane.
Overall
, it can be seen that there are seven stages in
this
linear process. Commencing with cultivating
sugar
cane for 12-18 months in the field and ending with drying and cooling the
sugar
in the mill.
To begin
with, in the first
stage
, 12-18 months
old
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
grown
sugar
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
ready to collect from the
sugar
cane field and
then
get harvested in the next
stage
by tractor or by
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
.
After
this
stage
, collected
sugar
canes
crushed
Add a missing verb
are crushed
show examples
in the machine to get the juice out, followed by purifying the juice using
limestone
Correct article usage
a limestone
show examples
filter. During the next
stage
, heat is
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
used to turn the juice into syrup by evaporating it and after that centrifuge
stage
where
Rephrase
apply
show examples
the
sugar
crystals get separated from the syrup. At the
last
stage
, by drying and cooling the
sugar
, it is ready to pack and sell.
Submitted by sayelacu2011 on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, stage with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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