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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign laguage at the primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantage?

#experts #children #laguage #school #outweigh
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In today's world, we are living in an open world;
consequently
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, learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 has become an integral part of our lives to communicate with each other.
As a result
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 of that, some people believe it is better to start learning it from the primary
stage
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 and do not postpone it till the secondary
school
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.
This
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 essay with examine the pros and cons of
this
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 case and provide a logical conclusion. At the outset, nowadays it is evident that
school
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's curriculum includes more subjects than before;
therefore
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, a lot of pressure is put on pulps to gather
this
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 information; thereby, I do not believe it will be a good move to add a burden on the primary
school
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's children by asking them to learn a new
language
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 beside current subjects, especially, in
this
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 early
stage
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 of student's life, we need to focus more on their mental health to ensure prosperous future for them. In sharp contrast to
this
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, if another
language
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 is included in the primary
school
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's curriculum, the pupils would not face the difficulties of learning in their next
stage
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;
consequently
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, we can consider
this
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 a great advantage which can not be disregarded.
Moreover
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, the students will have a great educational opportunity to learn from other cultures.
For example
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, they can learn programming skills at an early
stage
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 because they are able to read and write in the English
language
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 which is considered the main source of
this
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 science.
To conclude
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,
due to
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 the aforementioned reasons, we may safely conclude that the positive sides of learning a foreign
language
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 in primary
school
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 outweigh its drawbacks;
accordingly
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, I firmly believe that
this
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 decisive decision should be taken in favour of the students.
Submitted by rehameldweik on

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Task Response
In your introduction, it would be helpful to clearly state your position on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Additionally, consider providing a brief outline of the points you will cover in the essay to guide the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with clear introduction and conclusion. However, to improve coherence, consider using linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between sentences and paragraphs. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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