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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the number of people moving from rural to urban areas from 2000 to 2025.

The line graph shows the number of people moving from rural to urban areas from 2000 to 2025.
#line #people #areas
The line chart provides the number of
people
 who migrated from
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 to
cities
 from 3 different countries namely Iran, Indonesia and Russia from 2000 to 2025. It
is clearly see
Change the verb form
is clearly seen
show examples
 that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Indonesia has gradually
increse
Correct your spelling
increase
increased
whereas
 Iran and Russia
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 fluctuation throughout.
To begin
 with, In the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2000 around 10 million
people
 moved to urban areas and
shows
Wrong verb form
showed
show examples
moderate
Correct article usage
a moderate
show examples
 rise which
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 30
milions
Correct your spelling
million
 in the year 2025. In between 2000 to 2025
people
 who migrate has slightly increase.
On the contrary
, In 2000 there were almost 15
milions
Correct your spelling
million
populace
Correct your spelling
people
show examples
 moved to metropolitan
cities
 and it
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
was speedily climb
Change the verb form
was speedily climbing
show examples
. Till
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2010,
Number
Correct article usage
the Number
show examples
 of
people
 was almost 45
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
. Even after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
2010 majority of
people
 moved from rural areas
whcich
Correct your spelling
which
 was almost 70
milions
Correct your spelling
million
 in 2015. By the end
od
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2025, around 85
milion
Correct your spelling
million
people
 migrated from
Add an article
the country
show examples
country side
Correct your spelling
countryside
show examples
 to
cities
 in Russia.
On the other hand
, Iranian
people
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the majority in all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
three countries who moved to
cities
 from rural areas. The total number of
people
 who shifted to
metrocities
Correct your spelling
metro cities
atrocities
 was even below
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
10
milions
Correct your spelling
million
 in 2000
while
 it
reaced
Correct your spelling
reached
 10
milions
Correct your spelling
million
millions
 in 2005 which was upsurged around 50
milions
Correct your spelling
million
 in 10 years.
People
 who moved to
cities
 in Iran were at
peak
Correct pronoun usage
their peak
show examples
 by
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2025 which is just below
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
100
milions
Correct your spelling
millions
million
.
To conclude
,
Majority
Correct article usage
the Majority
show examples
 of
people
 who
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 Russian and Iranian moved from
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
whereas
 Indonesia shows
Correct article usage
a graduall
show examples
graduall
Correct your spelling
gradually
gradual
 increase from 2000 to 2025.
Submitted by bhumikashah1414 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, cities, milions with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "moved" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼

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